The Trolls Invade the Fort

[thecplusplusguy 7]

No one has picked up on it, and I was away for a while, but did the Troll say some nice things about Disney in his trip report?  Is this a different Troll than I remember? :panic: 

 

I still like it even with the nicey nice stuff.

 

Dan

[caveat lector 181]

Wow, I'm away from the computer for a couple of days and I'm way behind. You, Mr. Troll, strike an incredible balance between quantity and quality. You have a keen photog eye and it always makes for a very interesting TR. Accolades aside, 3 things specifically caught my attention:

1) your dogs REALLY dig those bones. Excellent! My vet recently alerted me to deer antlers. Yes.....I said antlers. They are all natural, the dogs love them, they whiten their teeth, the dogs love them, it takes them more than 15 mins to destroy, and the dogs love them

2) I thought I would encounter a patented Troll Rant. Instead their s full on Man Card Extraction......bonus

3) how can you impugn the road worthiness of an American icon like the Fiero. I mean think about its........OK, I guess I see your point.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

In typical GM fashion, they eventually did get the issues worked out with the Fiero and made it into a nice little car....and then discontinued it. 

[Mecha Geek 1]

I really like the way Troll has blended excellent photographer, great story telling, and wit and sarcasm into this report.  It's as if National Geographic, Mark Twain and Don Rickles had a love child!

[caveat lector 181]

In typical GM fashion, they eventually did get the issues worked out with the Fiero and made it into a nice little car....and then discontinued it.

Fair point. Agreed.

I think they used the naming convention that I liked. It was something like "2M6". It stood for 2 seater, Mid engine, 6 cylinder. Hope I'm not confusing my cars

[dblr....Rennie 224]

 

 

Growing up our family would go to this hotel in NW PA.  http://clphotelconneaut.com/about.html

If you look at the website, they just recently added AC, heating, etc to SOME of the rooms.  And the porch on the hotel is large and great... white rocking chairs overlooking the lake

 

We stayed at the campground one year over the 4th of July and saw one if not the best fireworks display ever there( outside of Disney). That place must have been great back in the day. We were even crazy enough to ride the roller coaster. This would be a nice place if they ever fix it up, they even had a water ski show then.

[The Troll 67]

 

mouseketab.....Carol, on 19 May 2013 - 10:05 PM, said:

Our first color TV was a Heath Kit, daddy built it!!!

Sweet. Do they still sell Heath kits?

 

LONE-STAR, on 19 May 2013 - 10:57 PM, said:

Well I like the picnic tables. We eat breakfast and dinner on them often. As for checkers I think there a great idea. Oh the music in that video at first I was thinking this isn't so bad. But then out of no where it started driving me crazy and I had to turn it off. So thanks for the barf warning.

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner of the, "Shut up, Troll, I like the [insert thing Troll lambasted here]" award. In every trip report we get at least one such award recipient. So congratulations, Lonestar, this one goes to you!

And I don't care what you say -- those picnic tables suck.

And the checkerboard is fine, but they should move it somewhere else more appropriate, like back somewhere on the Old Swamp Trail.

 

ftwildernessguy, on 20 May 2013 - 05:28 AM, said:

I have spent the last 24 hours catching up. Come on over to the Outback sometime and I'll fix you up with a fruity girlie drink, some boxed wine, a decent beer, hell, I'll even open up a bag of Doritos, and I won't charge you. That's what I call free.

1. You should probably get your money back for that speed reading class you took.

2. We'll take you up on that offer sometime. Just no cheap TCD chick beer, please.

 

GaDawgFan.....Kelly, on 20 May 2013 - 05:42 AM, said:

Watch out, all those pictures of you smiling are going to ruin your image.

Ah, good point. Let's repair that image right now. The other day, I was walking Zoe and Elma in my neighborhood and noticed some five-year-old left her Barbie car...this:

...on their front lawn.

So I reported them to the HOA!

 

[The Troll 67]

DaveInTN, on 20 May 2013 - 06:07 AM, said:

Trolls apparently like dogs. Put some children in a picture with him though and I bet you'd get a different expression.

 

Personally, I like the checkers on the porch. Inevitably, one of my kids will ask me to play with them, and I always crush them at that game. Talk about a self esteem booster. Always puts a smile on my face.

Another "Shut up, Troll" award winner.

 

ftwildernessguy, on 20 May 2013 - 06:19 AM, said:

I have found knocking Mickey bars out of strange annoying children's hands works for me.

Yeah! Get lost, kid. You're ruining my Disney vacation!

[The Troll 67]

jjbescher, on 20 May 2013 - 08:23 AM, said:

I am wondering when he got a rocking chair. He started off by complaining he had to sit at the picnic table, then he is in a rocking chair. Did he take people out to get a rocking chair?

Yep. Sorry. Forgot to mention that. There was one of those dudes in one of those motorized scooters who carries his own oxygen tanks because he smokes like a chimney on the porch. When a chair became available, he started rolling toward it with his throttle full open. He was going to beat us to it, so I grabbed one of the barrels on the porch they use as end tables and rolled it at him like Donkey Kong! It bowled him over perfectly and was great practice for our upcoming bowling trip!

 

GOBA Mom Lynn, on 20 May 2013 - 09:29 AM, said:

I've been following along, enjoying this trip report.

We've done a family meal at Whispering Canyon. We had like 12 people doing the all-you-can-eat. I had gotten 2:30pm reservations and we had the place to ourselves. They had the kids and adults do the stick horse race through the restaurant and the hotel lobby. Fun times!

 

Growing up our family would go to this hotel in NW PA. http://clphotelconneaut.com/about.html

If you look at the website, they just recently added AC, heating, etc to SOME of the rooms. And the porch on the hotel is large and great... white rocking chairs overlooking the lake.

That hotel and "amusement park" are interesting. Very, very weird and kind of creepy, but interesting nonetheless.

 

Big Kahuna aka John, on 20 May 2013 - 7:15 PM, said:

Lets hope no one goes exploring in River Country anytime soon...

Yeah. They'll find a motorized scooter, an oxygen tank, and carton of Newports. The alligators took care of the rest.

 

 

thecplusplusguy, on 20 May 2013 - 8:28 PM, said:

No one has picked up on it, and I was away for a while, but did the Troll say some nice things about Disney in his trip report? Is this a different Troll than I remember?

 

 

I still like it even with the nicey nice stuff.

 

Yeah. I said something nice about the abandoned waterpark!

 

caveat lector, on 20 May 2013 - 8:58 PM, said:

Wow, I'm away from the computer for a couple of days and I'm way behind. You, Mr. Troll, strike an incredible balance between quantity and quality. You have a keen photog eye and it always makes for a very interesting TR. Accolades aside, 3 things specifically caught my attention:

1) your dogs REALLY dig those bones. Excellent! My vet recently alerted me to deer antlers. Yes.....I said antlers. They are all natural, the dogs love them, they whiten their teeth, the dogs love them, it takes them more than 15 mins to destroy, and the dogs love them

2) I thought I would encounter a patented Troll Rant. Instead their s full on Man Card Extraction......bonus

3) how can you impugn the road worthiness of an American icon like the Fiero. I mean think about its........OK, I guess I see your point.

Thanks so much for the kind words. There are several more Troll Rants still to come!

 

DaveInTN, on 20 May 2013 - 9:21 PM, said:

In typical GM fashion, they eventually did get the issues worked out with the Fiero and made it into a nice little car....and then discontinued it.

Gee, I wonder why? Oh...wait...oh, yeah...because no one wanted it. It sucked.

 

Mecha Geek, on 20 May 2013 - 9:33 PM, said:

I really like the way Troll has blended excellent photographer, great story telling, and wit and sarcasm into this report. It's as if National Geographic, Mark Twain and Don Rickles had a love child!

Ha ha! What a touching compliment to be mentioned in the same sentence as Don Rickles!

[The Troll 67]

 

caveat lector, on 20 May 2013 - 9:52 PM, said:

Fair point. Agreed.

I think they used the naming convention that I liked. It was something like "2M6". It stood for 2 seater, Mid engine, 6 cylinder. Hope I'm not confusing my cars

Really? 
 

dblr....Rennie, on 21 May 2013 - 07:53 AM, said:

We stayed at the campground one year over the 4th of July and saw one if not the best fireworks display ever there( outside of Disney). That place must have been great back in the day. We were even crazy enough to ride the roller coaster. This would be a nice place if they ever fix it up, they even had a water ski show then.

Yes, you're crazy. The Whoop 'N Holler Hollow slides are in better shape than that roller coaster. Seriously. They have a roller coaster built in 1923 and they're begging people on the Internet to donate money so they can keep the rides operational. That instills confidence.

[The Troll 67]

If you're wondering why I had to double, triple, and quadruple post all that above, it's because this website only allows a certain number of quote blocks per post. Interestingly, the error message doesn't tell you how many you're allowed. That's a very interesting feature. I feel a Troll Rant coming on...

[The Troll 67]

All right, time for more Trolliage.

 

I'm going to have to skip ahead to the next day, as it was raining at the end of this day and, well, there's not much to report other than us hovering in the camper, trying to stay dry.

 

So the next day it was the same thing -- more rain. Rain, rain, rain. Again, fortunately this is Disney, so we had lots of indoor stuff to do. Could you imagine had we gone camping in some state park? Our entire vacation would just be us cooped up inside our little ultra lite camper. Fun times.

 

The plan was to go bowling. Mrs. Troll loves to go bowling and had been mentioning that we should go bowling in the weeks leading up to this trip. So we had the perfect opportunity. We had seen that they were putting the finishing touches on the new "luxury" bowling alley called Splitsville on our last trip, so we decided this time we had to check it out.

 

So what is "luxury bowling," you ask? Well, it's bowling...

 

...that they charge lots and lots of money for.

 

Now those of you who've been to Splitsville, too, might be working on a "Shut up, Troll" award by saying to yourself, "Shut up, Troll! They have lots more at Splitsville than just run-of-the-mill bowling!"

 

To that I ask, "Like what?"

 

And you might answer, "They have bars and a restaurant that serves pizza!"

 

And to that I say, "Um, yeah. So did the bowling alley on Laverne and Shirley."

 

See?

 

 

That show rocked. The "Two Broke Girls" show is a cheap, crappy ripoff.

 

Anyway, so I'm not so sure what's so "luxurious" about the Splitsville joint.

 

It does have two stories, though. That's interesting, I guess. Actually, the building itself has an interesting history. It used to be a Virgin Music Mega Store, which is a fancy name for "Best Buy." So Splitsville used to be a two story Best Buy. Mrs. Troll and I went in it once and said, "Wow. This is a whole lot of nothing. It's a lot of stuff I can get much cheaper on Amazon! How much of this stuff can they sell to stay open?"

 

Sure enough, closed.

 

Fail.

 

Maybe they should have sold soap balls.

 

Anyway, so we entered the Splitsville bowling alley and I immediately thought, "Wow. How many bowling games can you sell?"

 

Mark my words -- it'll close soon.

 

Don't get me wrong -- we liked Splitsville. It's very cool. Very retro. Very shiny.

 

But it's bowling. Like, you know, what used to be on your hometown corner street before they bulldozed it to make way for Walgreen's.

 

Maybe Splitsville will someday be a two story Walgreen's?

 

Anyway, so we went bowling here. They do something different -- they charge for how long you have the lane, not by how many games you play. I'm not so sure I liked that. It was expensive. Like $60 for two people to bowl.

 

But, like I said, it was raining, so we bowled.

 

But before we go into that, let's back up a bit. I forgot to tell you how we got here. Can you guess?

 

Yeah, the monorail.

 

Ha ha, no. Bus.

 

So we had to wait for the bus at the main Fort bus depot. The bus took a long time to get there, so I got bored. So I took pictures.

 

Earlier in this report I pointed out how you can buy a $3 Coke at the Fort. Well, if you're hungry, you can buy a $2 Twix:

 

 

I believe this is the last pay phone on earth with one of those plastic-bound phone books:

 

 

And here we have the news of the day:

 

 

OK, now I might get into some trouble for saying this, but I'm going to anyway: Why do we let these people in our country? Don't get me wrong -- I understand we're a country of immigrants. My mother, in fact, was an immigrant. She was born and raised in Germany and fled the devastation of WWII. Had we not opened our doors to people like my mother, I wouldn't be typing these words right now.

 

But you know, there are millions of people in countries that mean us no harm who are dying to get into our country. You know, people suffering in countries like Mexico, China, Liberia, Bulgaria, Taiwan, and Canada. Why don't we get our fill of immigrants from those countries?! And then when the terrorists apply for a visa, we just say, "Sorry, we're all full!"

 

And here's another thing: When I say, "Why do we allow these people in our country?" who is "we"? I mean, I don't think any of the Fort Fiends voted to allow Chechens into our country. So who did? Who made that decision? And why are they empowered to make it? Who died and made them boss?

 

All right, all right...sorry...back to important stuff -- bowling and Goofy dressed up as Darth Vader.

 

 

Which reminds me...who made that decision? Was it the stuffy Disney exec who ordered the addition of all the not-so-hidden Mickeys? I mean, Darth Vader is a bad guy. Evidently bad people are not allowed in Disney parks. They're allowed in Disney G-rated movies, but not in the parks, for some reason. I mean, Gaston was a bad guy. So bad, the Beast killed him at the end. But in the parks he's funny and talks smack like pro wrestlers. Oh, and alive.

 

Also in the parks, Darth Vader is portrayed by Goofy.

 

"Huh huh! You've failed me for the last time, Admiral!"

 

And evidently it wasn't enough to recruit Goofy to fill the role to make it clear that this Darth Vader is not bad and not scary. Evidently that wasn't clear enough, so they had Darth Goofy forget his pants. Seriously, now. Someone -- adults -- deliberated over this in a board room and arrived at Goofy wearing his boxer shorts as a solution.

 

Anyway, it's late and I get up at 5:20 every morning, so enough for now. But there's still tons to come about the bowling trip.

[ºoºThomasclan85ºoº 8]

Ouch.  Lou and I are approximately the same age, give or take a few years.  But I don't remember when running water was a big deal.  Color TV, yes.  And I remember when my grandparents got a bathroom.  It was so nice not to have to use the outhouse.

I HATED using an outhouse when I was a kid. My great gran had one and my wicked stepmother's parents had one. I was always scared of falling in. Of course, the hiney was much smaller back then. :flush2:  :rofl2: The stepmother's folks only had spring water, so we had to carry that too, hence the wicked stepmother reference.  We were young (3rd grade and younger) and it was so slippery. My great gran had an old-fashioned long handled pump. We also lived in a house (my grandparents and me and my sister) where the well was enclosed on the back porch and we had the wheel/pulley thing with a bucket. And while I'm reminiscing, we also used the old fashioned barrel shaped washer with the ringer at the top and a REAL washboard. I got my fingers caught in the ringer once.....I just HAD to find out if it hurt. :rofl2: And YES, it did!  Those were the days....(but I'm still glad I've got running water and an indoor potty).

 

Still enjoying the report!!

[LONE-STAR 370]

Well I want to think all the Cast members who have worked so hard to put things around Disney that makes the Troll rant. With out them it wouldn't have been possible for me to accept this award. Also I would like to think all the Fiends and of course my family. So thank you I am so honored.

[ftwildernessguy 778]

Before his private doctor did him in, Michael Jackson took over the Virgin Mega Store at DTD and took a ton of kids there and bought them anything they wanted. Think about that for a minute.

[Lou... 3,118]

 

 The bus took a long time to get there

 

 

 

That's it, no rant. I'm disappointed. Turn in your Troll card.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I am ok with allowing a certain number of immigrants from countries that don't like us....maybe they are escaping a bad political situation.  But for the love of goats, at least KEEP AN EYE ON THEM!  When we were in Russia we had to register with the local authorities at every hotel we stayed at.  And since we couldn't rent a car and you can't take any form of transportation without registering with ID, they know your whereabouts at any time.  And we didn't even know this kid didn't show up for school in Ohio?  Even after his home government warned us about him?  We are either stupid or incompetent. 

 

Sorry Troll, you got me started.  Guess that was a DIT rant.  Carry on with the bowling.  And try to add in more Laverne and Shirley references. 

[caveat lector 181]

I am ok with allowing a certain number of immigrants from countries that don't like us....maybe they are escaping a bad political situation.  But for the love of goats, at least KEEP AN EYE ON THEM!  When we were in Russia we had to register with the local authorities at every hotel we stayed at.  And since we couldn't rent a car and you can't take any form of transportation without registering with ID, they know your whereabouts at any time.  And we didn't even know this kid didn't show up for school in Ohio?  Even after his home government warned us about him?  We are either stupid or incompetent. 

 

Sorry Troll, you got me started.  Guess that was a DIT rant.  Carry on with the bowling.  And try to add in more Laverne and Shirley references.

I totally agree with you, but someone (or group) would complain that their privacy should be respected.

[caveat lector 181]

Great pic!

The Big Ragu

The Lone Wolf

And

Squiggy

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I totally agree with you, but someone (or group) would complain that their privacy should be respected.

 

The right to privacy should be reserved for citizens.  Foreign nationals don't have Constitutional rights.  At least not in my mind.  Which I admit is somewhat warped. 

 

Sorry Troll...not trying to get your TR moved to the Debate board.  Although you've said enough to get it moved there yourself.  :rofl3:

[Big Kahuna aka John 71]

I really like the way Troll has blended excellent photographer, great story telling, and wit and sarcasm into this report.  It's as if National Geographic, Mark Twain and Don Rickles had a love child!

Welcome !.   You are so gonna fit in here . :rofl2: :rofl2:

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

Keep it coming Troll!

All caught up after my stay in the hospital.

So if i have this right reading behind medicine glossed eyes:

This report is about Don Rickles who immigrated from Bulgaria after Chechnya refused his citizenship.

Upon arriving in America, he took the name Troll and went bowling with Laverne and Shirley while eating Pizza at the Virgin Mega Store with Michael Jackson who is alive and well and living in a camper.

Pretty cool stuff!

[Lou... 3,118]

Sorry Troll...not trying to get your TR moved to the Debate board.  Although you've said enough to get it moved there yourself.  

 

Yeah, don't get me started on foreigners.

[The Troll 67]

I HATED using an outhouse when I was a kid. My great gran had one and my wicked stepmother's parents had one. I was always scared of falling in. Of course, the hiney was much smaller back then. :flush2:  :rofl2: The stepmother's folks only had spring water, so we had to carry that too, hence the wicked stepmother reference.  We were young (3rd grade and younger) and it was so slippery. My great gran had an old-fashioned long handled pump. We also lived in a house (my grandparents and me and my sister) where the well was enclosed on the back porch and we had the wheel/pulley thing with a bucket. And while I'm reminiscing, we also used the old fashioned barrel shaped washer with the ringer at the top and a REAL washboard. I got my fingers caught in the ringer once.....I just HAD to find out if it hurt. :rofl2: And YES, it did!  Those were the days....(but I'm still glad I've got running water and an indoor potty).

 

Still enjoying the report!!

 

Those were the days?

 

Well I want to think all the Cast members who have worked so hard to put things around Disney that makes the Troll rant. With out them it wouldn't have been possible for me to accept this award. Also I would like to think all the Fiends and of course my family. So thank you I am so honored.

 

It took 12 pages of Troll report for someone to tell the Troll to shut up. People are slacking.

 

Before his private doctor did him in, Michael Jackson took over the Virgin Mega Store at DTD and took a ton of kids there and bought them anything they wanted. Think about that for a minute.

 

Must we?

 

That's it, no rant. I'm disappointed. Turn in your Troll card.

 

[TROLL RANT]

Riding the buses at Disney sucks...largely because of the incompetent bus drivers. If you're going anywhere on Disney property on a bus, you want to leave 2 hours early.

[/TROLL RANT]

 

Happy?

 

I am ok with allowing a certain number of immigrants from countries that don't like us....maybe they are escaping a bad political situation.  But for the love of goats, at least KEEP AN EYE ON THEM!  When we were in Russia we had to register with the local authorities at every hotel we stayed at.  And since we couldn't rent a car and you can't take any form of transportation without registering with ID, they know your whereabouts at any time.  And we didn't even know this kid didn't show up for school in Ohio?  Even after his home government warned us about him?  We are either stupid or incompetent. 

 

Sorry Troll, you got me started.  Guess that was a DIT rant.  Carry on with the bowling.  And try to add in more Laverne and Shirley references. 

 

Lenny and Squiggy ruled.

 

Great pic!

The Big Ragu

The Lone Wolf

And

Squiggy

 

Hello!

 

Keep it coming Troll!

All caught up after my stay in the hospital.

So if i have this right reading behind medicine glossed eyes:

This report is about Don Rickles who immigrated from Bulgaria after Chechnya refused his citizenship.

Upon arriving in America, he took the name Troll and went bowling with Laverne and Shirley while eating Pizza at the Virgin Mega Store with Michael Jackson who is alive and well and living in a camper.

Pretty cool stuff!

 

It's all like a weird, bad dream, right?

 

Yeah, don't get me started on foreigners.

 

Foreigners and kids really clog Disney up.

[Lou... 3,118]

[TROLL RANT]

Riding the buses at Disney sucks...largely because of the incompetent bus drivers. If you're going anywhere on Disney property on a bus, you want to leave 2 hours early.

[/TROLL RANT]

 

 

 

It's 1-1/2 hours.