The Trolls Invade the Fort

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

Playing catchup on a most excellent Troll Report...

 

Love hearing about the 900 loop.  When we make the jump from preferred to premium (which is probably coming sooner than later) that's the loop we're eyeballing. Partly because of the dog walk, and partly because there area lots of sites there that back up to just foliage.

 

Rescue pups rock!  All 3 of ours are rescues too ...and I'll take a 2 year old over a puppy ANY day of the week. Mostly thanks to the face in my avatar, which is the last puppy I raised (and who is largely responsible for why my roots grow in gray).

 

Mrs. Troll suggested we travel on over to the Polynesian for some Dole Whip.

 

Haven't met Mrs Troll, but I like her already!

 

Oh, and I think I know where the magic ice machine is.  Or at least I know where one is.  We use it all the time (which is a bit of a clue) - and generally bring either the cooler or our own bag to fill. 

[h2odivers...Ray 952]

I never got to enjoy RC it looked like a great spot. I did walk back there last time and it is very depressing. I agree if your not going to reopen it demolish it and get rid of the mosquito breeding grounds. I vote for refurbishing it.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Andrew Carnegie may not have written "How To Make Friends And Influence People", but he does have an important Disney connection.  He founded US Steel Corp, which played a key role in the construction of the Contemporary and Polynesian Resorts.  So maybe Harold just got his Disney facts screwed up.  By any chance, is Harold's real name Larry? 

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

By any chance, is Harold's real name Larry? 

and did he have a penchant for cupcakes?

:cupcake:

[The Troll 67]

Actually, I pulled a "Harold." Woops. Sorry. It was Dale Carnegie who wrote "How to Make Friends and Influence People." Duh. Typo on my part!

[LONE-STAR 370]

Never thought about 911 closing river country but you could be right.

[Lou... 3,118]

Never thought about 911 closing river country but you could be right.

 

I don't think Troll is saying that it it did, it just brought it about sooner rather than later.

I think his logic is right on the money, with TL and BB operating and drawing the majority of people that wanted state of the art water parks, RC was destined for closure.

It didn't make business sense to keep it open just like it didn't make business sense to keep Discovery Island open after AK opened.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Actually, I pulled a "Harold." Woops. Sorry. It was Dale Carnegie who wrote "How to Make Friends and Influence People." Duh. Typo on my part!

 

So is your name actually Larry??

[GaDawgFan.....Kelly 799]

I don't think Troll is saying that it it did, it just brought it about sooner rather than later.

I think his logic is right on the money, with TL and BB operating and drawing the majority of people that wanted state of the art water parks, RC was destined for closure.

It didn't make business sense to keep it open just like it didn't make business sense to keep Discovery Island open after AK opened.

 

The only thing I don't get is that as an out of town Disney guest, a reasonably priced SMALL water park just a boat ride from the MK and all the monorail resorts is way more appealing than a super expensive water park that requires a whole day of extra planning on its own.

 

Pool hopping is super popular. RC would be too.

[ftwildernessguy 778]

Can you get a full day of fun at Typhone Lagone?

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Can you get a full day of fun at Typhone Lagone?

 

No, but there is a full day exciment.

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

Yeah, right after 9/11 the parks were ghost towns. I got a Fort site that December for like $20 a night.  They stopped the original Early Entry program completely, and cut out all kinds of things. 

[thecplusplusguy 7]

I have missed trip reports, I stayed away to long.

 

I like the Troll's reports.

 

Dan

[The Troll 67]

You are cracking me up.

 

In my best karaoke voice, "Every rose has its thorn."

 

I agree about the curled up cowboy hats.

 

They are goofy.

 

I hope we get to hear from the hellion known as Alicia later in the TR!

 

Glad you're reading along and someone's getting my jokes!

 

Playing catchup on a most excellent Troll Report...

 

Love hearing about the 900 loop.  When we make the jump from preferred to premium (which is probably coming sooner than later) that's the loop we're eyeballing. Partly because of the dog walk, and partly because there area lots of sites there that back up to just foliage.

 

Rescue pups rock!  All 3 of ours are rescues too ...and I'll take a 2 year old over a puppy ANY day of the week. Mostly thanks to the face in my avatar, which is the last puppy I raised (and who is largely responsible for why my roots grow in gray).

 

 

Haven't met Mrs Troll, but I like her already!

 

Oh, and I think I know where the magic ice machine is.  Or at least I know where one is.  We use it all the time (which is a bit of a clue) - and generally bring either the cooler or our own bag to fill. 

 

Yep, the 900 loop is most excellent. My favorite by far. Very woodsy and lots of character.

 

I never got to enjoy RC it looked like a great spot. I did walk back there last time and it is very depressing. I agree if your not going to reopen it demolish it and get rid of the mosquito breeding grounds. I vote for refurbishing it.

 

Me, too. Strange that the place has just sat for 12 years. I read somewhere that a Disney exec did announce once that RC might reopen if there was enough demand for it. But that was probably a long time ago. And how, exactly, would said exec expect the customers to express their demand?

 

Andrew Carnegie may not have written "How To Make Friends And Influence People", but he does have an important Disney connection.  He founded US Steel Corp, which played a key role in the construction of the Contemporary and Polynesian Resorts.  So maybe Harold just got his Disney facts screwed up.  By any chance, is Harold's real name Larry? 

 

Just who is this Larry guy, anyway?

 

Never thought about 911 closing river country but you could be right.

 

I think so. See Lou's comment below. He said it right: 9/11 hurried along what I think the Disney brass was considering for a while.

 

I don't think Troll is saying that it it did, it just brought it about sooner rather than later.

I think his logic is right on the money, with TL and BB operating and drawing the majority of people that wanted state of the art water parks, RC was destined for closure.

It didn't make business sense to keep it open just like it didn't make business sense to keep Discovery Island open after AK opened.

 

Correct. And if I'm not mistaken in, say, 2000, the price of admission to RC was much lower than Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach, right? So perhaps the Disney brass also so RC as a lower priced competitor.

 

The only thing I don't get is that as an out of town Disney guest, a reasonably priced SMALL water park just a boat ride from the MK and all the monorail resorts is way more appealing than a super expensive water park that requires a whole day of extra planning on its own.

 

Pool hopping is super popular. RC would be too.

 

See my comment to Lou above. I guess the thing is, whenever Disney opens a park, the new park is not only competing against Universal, Sea World, and Wet n Wild, it's also competing against the other existing Disney parks. So I supposed Disney asks itself, "If we reopen RC, would that siphon away customers from TL and BB?"

 

Yeah, right after 9/11 the parks were ghost towns. I got a Fort site that December for like $20 a night.  They stopped the original Early Entry program completely, and cut out all kinds of things. 

 

Crazy time. Those terrorists really had us paralyzed by fear.

 

I have missed trip reports, I stayed away to long.

 

I like the Troll's reports.

 

Dan

 

 

Thanks, Dan! Thanks for reading along. Glad to see you're back.

[The Troll 67]

Update time!

When we last left off, I was nosing around the remains of River Country. After snapping just a few photos, I quickly became depressed and decided to get out of there. So Mrs. Troll and I hopped into the golf cart and headed back to camp. There, we let the pups out to play. My dogs like to play football, and Mrs. Troll had picked up a $4 Nerf football to play with. Here are some action shots:

Either my dog is too long or her legs are too short:

After a while, we got to talking about dinner. We weren't in the mood to cook, so I suggested I run back up to the Settlement and grab some takeout. I got a BBQ sandwich and Mrs. Troll got the nachos. Here's my sandwich:

Then we went to the campfire sing along and the movie. It was "Toy Story 2," which we had never seen before.

I like the campfire movie. A lot. It's a great experience...usually.

Sometimes, however, not so much.

Now, as you've probably gathered by now, I enjoy an adult beverage from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. However, if you enjoy your adult beverages AND you have young children AND you take them to the campfire movie, please, PLEASE do not consume so many adult beverages that you are incapable of keeping your young children in check. For example, please do not allow your young children to have light saber duels with their flashlights on the movie screen while the movie is going.

Also, now I know some of you haven't learned this yet, but adult beverages have a certain magic property -- they make your voice much, much louder.

In other words, please, no DRUNK YELLING WHILE CINDERELLA IS PLAYING!

GO YELL AT EACH OTHER BACK AT YOUR SITE!

IT IS STILL A MOVIE, YOU KNOW. JUST BECAUSE IT'S FREE DOESN'T MEAN PEOPLE AREN'T TRYING TO WATCH!

Anyway, this night there were no blitzed soccer moms and no Jedi younglings ruining the movie. But when the movie started up, I sensed something was wrong. The movie's title popped up on the screen: "Toy Story." And then I was waiting for the "2" to appear on top of it, but it never did.

So, "Wait," I thought. "I thought this was 'Toy Story 2'?"

Then suddenly the screen went black and the teenager hostess grabbed the mic: "Sorry, folks, but we're experiencing some technical difficulties or something."

At that moment, inside the movie projection barn, there were four 17-year-olds frantically searching through every DVD box in the projection booth, trying to find the right movie.

Fail.

Fortunately, though, they got it figured out quickly enough and the right movie appeared on the screen.

Here's another thing to be aware of when you go to the campfire movie -- beware of 6-year-old with sharp, pointy sticks and flaming marshmallows. You can either get your eye poked out or receive second degree burns.

Because, you see, 7-year-olds haven't mastered the delicate art of roasting marshmallows and their parents are somewhere else, enjoying the buzz.

And by "buzz" I do not mean the excitement, pomp, and pageantry of Disney World.

OK, up next, the Troll has yet another incident with an unruly child at the top of the swimming pool slide.

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

Can you get a full day of fun at Typhone Lagone?

 

 

No, but there is a full day exciment.

 

Don't be morans.

 

I have missed trip reports, I stayed away to long.

 

Yes, yes you did.  :)

 

 

Those are some most excellent ears!

[thecplusplusguy 7]

I guess this is my official hello to all again.

Couldn't take not going for a while so I blocked it out. I won't do that again.

Sorry I hijacked. Back to the TR.

Dan

[alexwyattmommy 181]

It rained so much that first part of the week we were there last year that we didn't make it to the campfire sing-a-long and movie.  Hoping for better luck this time on our down time planned days.

[Discamper 394]

Troll what camera do you use my camera doesn't take pictues like yours

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Darn it Troll, I got behind on your excellent report, and now there is no way I can remember all the things I wanted to comment on.

 

I'll try, though:

 

- I love Harold.  I hope that I can be Harold one day.  I will have my own personal rocking chair and just sit there and make up wild stories.  I've never been a fan of the comb over, but I guess I'll have to learn to live with it.  I think it's an important detail.

 

-I am still shocked at what that crude Grandma said to you.  One from each hole?  What the Fort is that supposed to mean?  Gross!

 

-speaking of holes (which I would rather not, but you brought it up)- I never noticed the one in the rock- nice job on that photo!

 

-loved the group camping area photos.  That path you found leading to the 2000 loop is the one that I take to cross the bridge to the 900 loop and head on to the Meadow Trading Post when I have stayed on 2000.  It's a great shortcut.

 

-loved your description of the guests at the campfire.  Unfortunately, that's the way it is.  Not a real good atmosphere for anyone who actually is trying to watch the movie.

 

I know there's more, but I can't remember it now.

 

Looking forward to the rest.

 

TCD

[The Troll 67]

Those are some most excellent ears!

 

I know, right?! We get all the time, "That dog was in the movies, right?"

 

I guess this is my official hello to all again. Couldn't take not going for a while so I blocked it out. I won't do that again. Sorry I hijacked. Back to the TR. Dan

 

I like your flying dog, Dan!

 

It rained so much that first part of the week we were there last year that we didn't make it to the campfire sing-a-long and movie.  Hoping for better luck this time on our down time planned days.

 

Stinks. Not going to the sing along makes a Fort trip a tad bit incomplete.

 

Troll what camera do you use my camera doesn't take pictues like yours

 

Here's my camera:

 

 

It's a Nikon Coolpix p90. Notice it is NOT a DSLR. It's more of a hybrid camera...sort of a cross between a DSLR and a point-and-shoot camera. I really, really like this camera. It gives me all the full features of a DSLR (full manual exposure, manual focus, etc.) with the conveniences of a point-and-shoot. Highly recommended.

 

Have you read up any on photography? The camera has a lot do with the quality of photos, but the person behind the camera has even more to do with it.

 

Darn it Troll, I got behind on your excellent report, and now there is no way I can remember all the things I wanted to comment on.

 

I'll try, though:

 

- I love Harold.  I hope that I can be Harold one day.  I will have my own personal rocking chair and just sit there and make up wild stories.  I've never been a fan of the comb over, but I guess I'll have to learn to live with it.  I think it's an important detail.

 

-I am still shocked at what that crude Grandma said to you.  One from each hole?  What the Fort is that supposed to mean?  Gross!

 

-speaking of holes (which I would rather not, but you brought it up)- I never noticed the one in the rock- nice job on that photo!

 

-loved the group camping area photos.  That path you found leading to the 2000 loop is the one that I take to cross the bridge to the 900 loop and head on to the Meadow Trading Post when I have stayed on 2000.  It's a great shortcut.

 

-loved your description of the guests at the campfire.  Unfortunately, that's the way it is.  Not a real good atmosphere for anyone who actually is trying to watch the movie.

 

I know there's more, but I can't remember it now.

 

Looking forward to the rest.

 

TCD

 

You mean to say I've found something at the Fort that the incomparable TCD had not already discovered? That's a first for the Troll. At last, I've achieved a major milestone in Fort expertise!

 

Many of the guests at the campfire suck. Plain and simple. They suck. Loud, obnoxious, standing up directly in the way, etc.

 

And I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to comb overs. The Troll, on the other hand, uses minoxidil!

[Beckers 1,136]

So I was thinking we missed out by not going to the campfire movie in Oct and I see I probably would have just been annoyed. DH has spoiled us by backyard movies here (where the only annoying people are us!) and I think all that craziness would just make me cranky.

[LONE-STAR 370]

My camera is a phone and shoot. Galaxy s3 to be exact not that any one asked. I just think how time has changed. 10 years ago I took 2 cameras on vacation now I just take my phone.

[The Troll 67]

So I was thinking we missed out by not going to the campfire movie in Oct and I see I probably would have just been annoyed. DH has spoiled us by backyard movies here (where the only annoying people are us!) and I think all that craziness would just make me cranky.

 

It depends on your tolerance level. Mrs. Troll and I are not very tolerant of annoying people. I yelled at one dude on our previous trip because he stood directly in front of Mrs. Troll and starting chatting with his wife.

 

My camera is a phone and shoot. Galaxy s3 to be exact not that any one asked. I just think how time has changed. 10 years ago I took 2 cameras on vacation now I just take my phone.

 

I must admit I take some photos with our phones, too. Sometimes it's the only thing available and we have to capture the moment!

[The Troll 67]

OK, let's press on!

When we last left off, we had gone to the campfire and sing along. After that, we hit the sack, as the next day would be a busy, busy day.

Our anniversary was on Tuesday, the 30th of April. We wanted to have dinner at 'Ohana's, as it's our favorite restaurant, but even months out, the closest reservation we could get was the day before, the 29th, at 9:40. Oh, well...close enough! At least we had reservations.

So that's what we'd be doing at nighttime. During the day, our first item up for bids was the ol' swimming pool:

Here's a very rare sight:

Hey, what's this sign for?

Anybody?

Hey! It's the "Rock of Love" guy again!

I couldn't get away from that guy.

Anyway, if you're a follower of Troll Trip Reports, you may remember that in my last report I had a terrible experience with an unruly 8-year-old who thought it was fun to punch -- with his fists -- the button that resets the red light/green light at the top of the slide.

Well, true to form, I had another child experience while minding my own business, attempting to ride down the slide.

As you can tell from the above photos, there weren't many people at the pool. And there was NO line whatsoever to ride the slide. So seeing a golden opportunity to ride the slide over and over and over without being annoyed by children, I dove into the pool, swam across, and climbed up the stairs for my first trip around the water tower.

But no.

Sure enough, there was a kid at the top of the slide, preparing to ride down. And this kid looked to be, oh, five. He had floaties on his arms that had a matching floatie breastplate. So anyway, this tiny child was waiting for the light to turn green when I arrived at the scene. When it did, though, he stood there, transfixed. So I said, "It's OK to go, buddy!"

But he just stood there, transfixed. His eyes were focused like lasers on that water that gushes from both sides of the slide entrance to feed the slide water to make it slippery.

Finally, he sort of worked up the courage to sit at the edge of the slide with that water spraying all over him from both sides. He then looked back to me and announced, "I don't like slides."

I got parity error.

Don't like slides? So...why...are...you...on...one? I didn't know what to say. I hate that awkwardness when a kid says something weird to you and you don't know exactly what to say back.

So I said, "Oh."

The kid nodded slowly. "Yep," he said. "I hate slides. All slides."

So he just sat there at the slide entrance, sitting in the deluge of water, blocking me from enjoying the slide that I do happen to like.

So now I was stuck. This was a situation. How do I get rid of this kid?

You know how the Terminator has that infrared vision? You know, you see the world through his eyes and get to see what he's thinking? And you know how like when the Terminator is faced with a decision, a list of possible choices appears? Like this:

Understand what I'm talking about now? It's cool. And every time you get to see through the Terminators eyes, you get to hear the computer noise in his head, too. It goes like, "Waaaa, waaaa, waaaa..."

Anyway, us trolls have similar Terminator vision. When faced with difficult decisions, a menu of action choices appears in our brains. Here are the choices that appeared in my brain when faced with the child who didn't like slides blocking the entrance to said slide:

1. Kick child in back to knock him down slide

2. Throw child from slide platform

3. Trick child by telling him that if he slides down, he will surely drown

4. Pry child's fingers from sides of slide so that gushing water washes him down slide

Fortunately, this Troll was raised by nuns, so my nun-guilt blocked me from executing any of those choices. So instead I had to pretend I was a responsible, caring adult.

"So you're kind of scared to go down the slide?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, would you like it better if I went first so I can catch you at the bottom?"

He nodded excitedly.

So I went first. Here I am coming up from landing:

But now I was in yet another awkward position -- I had to catch some 5-year-old kid whose parents may not take kindly to my doing so. So my other choice was to get the hell out of there, but then the kid might drown if I left him to his own devices.

"Well, he has floaties on...he won't drown..." that little devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear. "Let's get out of here while the getting's good!"

But then my nun-guilt kicked in again, so I decided I had to catch this child.

But fortunately at the last moment I noticed a 49-year-old woman in a string bikini with a serious addiction to spray tanning standing near the end of the slide. I assumed she was the boy's mother. She was. So I was off the hook.

Anyway, I didn't want to have to deal with the afraid-of-the-slide kid anymore, so I went back to my pool chair. When I got there, I noticed that this lifeguard liked to keep his whistle in his mouth 100%, just in case he gets the opportunity to blow it at someone:

I tried to snap a picture where I freeze the water droplets in midair:

Random shot of sign:

OK, enough for now. Coming up next, I prove the urban legend of some crane over the Fort to be wrong.