The Trolls Invade the Fort

[The Troll 67]

OK, time for a quick hijack of my own thread to answer TCD's question about the spillover bridge.

 

Mrs. Troll and I went and investigated yesterday. Verdict: The spillover bridge is NOT fenced off. There is a fence with barbed wire along the perimeter of where the bridge meets the canal/lake, but the bridge itself is still perfectly passable. I believe, in fact, Andrew, the fence and barbed wire are the same that you already reported on.

 

I have some pictures:

 

 

Disney has rented this water pump from Sunbelt to move the water from the canals into the lake:

 

 

Notice there is a makeshift wooden wall built around it. And I wonder if Sunbelt is aware that Disney is using their pump to move the duck weed infested canal water:

 

 

 

 

So I'm happy to report that the weird, dilapidated cabin and the Old Chigger Swamp Trail are still accessible "attractions." All you have to do is do what we've always done: Step over the fence.

 

That's an awesome cypress tree, BTW:

 

 

This photo doesn't give it justice.

 

Incidentally, speaking of the Old Swamp Trail, I found evidence of human remains back there a few trips back. Very odd. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Great job on the bridge inspection, Troll.

 

Human remains? I remember a plaque someone posted back there, but no remains.

 

TCD

[ftwildernessguy 778]

Are we talking remains or droppings?

[The Troll 67]

Great job on the bridge inspection, Troll.

 

Human remains? I remember a plaque someone posted back there, but no remains.

 

TCD

 

Ha ha...if anyone would know what I'm talking about, it would be TCD!

 

Are we talking remains or droppings?

 

Human remains!

 

Yes, perhaps that's a bit of a troll hyperbole, but ordinarily those plaques mark the area where someone scattered someone's ashes, correct?

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

Loving your TR Troll.

Thanks for checking on the bridge.

Looking forward to more Fort and more rants!

[The Troll 67]

Loving your TR Troll.

Thanks for checking on the bridge.

Looking forward to more Fort and more rants!

 

Thanks, Aaron!

 

More is now on the way!

[The Troll 67]

Let's start the party right with a Troll Rant straight out the gate!

 

[TROLL RANT]

Why is it that if you have a campfire in one of these:

 

 

 

with the mesh cover on it, the Fort Ranger will magically appear from behind the bushes and will literally -- literally -- douse it with the hose at your site, but people can ride motorized scooters around and around and around and around your loop on the roadway and have nothing said to them?

 

Consistency, please.

[/TROLL RANT]

 

Anyway, so I mentioned the Boy Scouts camping at the group camping area. Today was Sunday, so they were packing up. After all, Monday was a school day. I was shocked by how fast they packed that place up.

 

They left a lot of trash behind:

 

 

And there were a bunch of Disney tents:

 

 

I noticed this strangely-constructed Fort fence:

 

 

But then I realized that it's just broken:

 

 

Mrs. Troll loves the group camping area:

 

 

Then this guy showed up to clean up after the Boy Scouts:

 

 

There are many grills for grilling:

 

 

You may build a fire in those grills and not get in trouble.

 

I decided to check to see if any of the Boy Scouts had left any secret messages behind:

 

 

But there were none.

 

The Boy Scouts were proudly flying our nation's flag here:

 

 

And I found this crooked pine tree very cool:

 

 

There's an interesting walkway along the fringe of the group camping area:

 

 

So I decided to take a walk. Notice that tunnel through the woods straight ahead:

 

 

And it got brushy:

 

 

Then it dumped out along the 2000 loop. Check out this storm drain cover:

 

 

After a while, we decided to cruise over to the Meadow(s) Trading Post. We thought that maybe there might be rocking chairs on the back porch of the trading post and that it would be nice to rock and watch the activity on the canal by the Bike Barn. But there were no rocking chairs back there. Just picnic tables. Fail, Disney.

 

But I snapped a few pictures anyway.

 

It's hard to fathom that the Fort Wilderness Railroad ran right along this walkway. If it were 1978 right now, I'd be standing on the tracks:

 

 

There's scant evidence of it now.

 

If you look hard enough, you can find a few traces:

 

 

A lot of people don't realize it, but that train ran right up against the entryway to the Trading Post. Can you just imagine Disney trying to pull that today? Can you imagine Disney trying to build the Fort today in 2013 and trying to get that steam powered train past their insurance underwriter? Let's take a look at how such a conversation might go down:

 

Insurance Guy: Ah, Mr. Disney, how good to see you.

 

Disney: Hello.

 

Insurance Guy: So, you're building a new project in, where was that, Florida?

 

Disney: That's right. We want to build a campground so that middle class families can come and enjoy our theme park.

 

Insurance Guy: Campground? You mean like a KOA? Great! We insure lots of those.

 

Disney: Well, no, not exactly. Something bigger than that. KOAs aren't up to Disney standard.

 

Insurance Guy: Bigger? Bigger how?

 

Disney: Well, for starters, we want it to have a steam train.

 

Insurance Guy: A what?! I thought you said you were building a KOA!

 

Disney: No, no...the train will move our guests around the campground. They'll be able to ride it to our Settlement area and to our camp stores and such. It'll be fun.

 

Insurance Guy: We don't insure trains, Mr. Disney. Trains suck, by the way. Why not just buy a bus? Much more efficient. We insure buses. Let's look up a rate for that.

 

Disney: No, no, no! I mean, we'll have buses, but we want a steam train, too.

 

Insurance Guy: OK, well, I just looked in the computer, Mr. Disney, and there are no rates listed for freight trains that run through KOAs. I don't think my company would want to insure that anyway. Sounds like a fail idea to me. Have a great day!

 

How does that work, anyway? I don't know anything about the insurance underwriting business, but when someone is going to build some new attraction, some insurance dude has to show up, look at it, and take a stab, right? It would be like, "Hmmmm...I see you're building a roller coaster that goes underground and runs through an aquarium so the guests can see sharks and dolphins. Hmmmmm...let's say, oh, $1 million per year to insure this?"

 

If there are any insurance underwriters reading along, please feel free to chime in.

 

Anyway, a few more photos from around the Meadows Trading Post:

 

 

 

This dad doesn't realize it, but this is a memory his little girl will fondly recount to her children when she's her dad's age:

 

 

This guy is "fishing":

 

 

You can rent a canoe:

 

 

In my very first trip report, which I wrote almost three years ago, I marveled over these fences:

 

 

I wondered why these cross members could be removed.

 

Then it hit me:

 

Lawn mower.

 

Duh.

 

One thing I really like about the Meadows Trading Post is the music. They seem to have added more Native American music to the play list. I like it. Although the lyrics to one song went like this: "Yo yo yo yo yama yo yo yo yo..." and they were beating one of those big Native American drums while singing it.

 

You can hear that song in your head right now, can't you?

 

OK, coming up next, we move to the Pioneer Hall porch for our rocking chair fix.

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

This report rocks.

 

I love all the Fort pics.

 

There are never enough Fort pics.

 

The train was the single coolest thing ever at the Fort, followed closely by RC. 

 

More updates please!

[devores 382]

I know its a moot point, but does Disney actually need insurance? I mean, insurance is for an accident that you could not repair or pay for for yourself. Im sure Disney could easily pay for anything that happens on their property. They make way more than the insurance companies. They probably have their own insurance department. Set aside a portion of their income to pay for any matters that come up. They have their own lawyers, so why not insure yourself as well?

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I don't know this for sure, but my guess is that Disney is self-insured for the typical "injury and property damage" items, and has a catastrophic policy with a high deductible to cover the unusually large losses.  I'm probably wrong, but that seems to be how the larger companies I've ever audited handle it. 

[caveat lector 181]

I don't know this for sure, but my guess is that Disney is self-insured for the typical "injury and property damage" items, and has a catastrophic policy with a high deductible to cover the unusually large losses.  I'm probably wrong, but that seems to be how the larger companies I've ever audited handle it.

This is my experience as well.

The risk for their catastrophe policy is probably spread over multiple companies (Lloyd's of London). With Disneys team of lawyers, that policy premium is easy money for the insurer

[Lou... 3,118]

Timothy East, a current CM, is Disney's Director of Risk Management. He is also Chairperson and Treasurer for the "California Self-Insurers’ Security Fund", so it's pretty safe to say that Disney is self insured.

[The Troll 67]

This report rocks.

 

I love all the Fort pics.

 

There are never enough Fort pics.

 

The train was the single coolest thing ever at the Fort, followed closely by RC. 

 

More updates please!

 

Thanks for reading along, Aaron! Glad you're enjoying the pics. I tend to think, though, that RC was a tad better than the RR. I had more fun there as a child.

 

I know its a moot point, but does Disney actually need insurance? I mean, insurance is for an accident that you could not repair or pay for for yourself. Im sure Disney could easily pay for anything that happens on their property. They make way more than the insurance companies. They probably have their own insurance department. Set aside a portion of their income to pay for any matters that come up. They have their own lawyers, so why not insure yourself as well?

 

Good point!

 

I don't know this for sure, but my guess is that Disney is self-insured for the typical "injury and property damage" items, and has a catastrophic policy with a high deductible to cover the unusually large losses.  I'm probably wrong, but that seems to be how the larger companies I've ever audited handle it. 

 

Insurance is a strange game, isn't it?

 

This is my experience as well.

The risk for their catastrophe policy is probably spread over multiple companies (Lloyd's of London). With Disneys team of lawyers, that policy premium is easy money for the insurer

 

Makes sense.

 

Timothy East, a current CM, is Disney's Director of Risk Management. He is also Chairperson and Treasurer for the "California Self-Insurers’ Security Fund", so it's pretty safe to say that Disney is self insured.

 

Great information, Lou! Thanks!

[The Troll 67]

OK, let's ramble on!

As I mentioned previously, it was time for us to hit the rocking chairs. So we did.

There's a problem, though: Not enough chairs. Back in the 70s and 80s, there were just rows and rows of rocking chairs along both sides of the porch. Now the side that faces the playground is dominated by those stupid picnic tables. I hate those picnic tables. We had to sit at one of those picnic tables this trip to the porch for a few minutes while we waited for some jabronis to vacate the chairs.

When they finally did, we grunt rushed the rocking chairs. I had to shoulder tackle some 8 month pregnant woman and a retired old lady with one those canes with four prongs on the end of it. You know what I'm talking about...one of these things:

Now you might think it was wrong for me to shoulder tackle a pregnant woman and an old lady with a cane, but rocking chair mania knows no loyalty or suffers any compassion. The strongest and fittest shall survive...and rock.

Anyway, so I began this report by commenting how insecure this "fort" is. First, they let in trolls, now look -- pirates!

Now you might be saying, "Oh, shut up, Troll. That's not a pirate. That's just a kid playing Indiana Jones."

Wrong.

It's a pirate:

Curvy sword = pirate. Period. End of story. Do not post replies arguing that that isn't a pirate. It's a pirate. In this fort.

Hey, now check this out:

Notice the "cowboy" hat that dude is wearing. I have some important commentary about those rolled-up-on-the-sides cowboy hats. Now, I don't want to offend anyone by saying this, but it must be said: There are only two types of dudes who wear these hats -- fruity or drunk.

Pick one.

It's true! Every time I've seen a dude wearing a rolled up on the sides cowboy hat, he's either a) a fan of musicals or blitzed out his mind and staggering.

See:

Oh, wait! It's the "Rock of Love" guy again! Why does that guy keep popping up?

Anyway, the line for that horrible Hoop Dee Do Revue show was long:

What is the plot of that show, anyway? Isn't it just a bunch of wanna-be actors hooting and hollering and doing really, really bad southern accents?

Typical Disney. Anywhere a crowd gathers, there's a photographer taking your picture and then trying to get you to pay for it:

That girl can now call herself a professional photographer, can she not? That's more than I can say about my photography.

I really love this area. Very nostalgic to me:

Look what I found:

I really, really wanted to go to Typhoon Lagoon this trip. It reminds me of River Country. It's all rustic. But we didn't get a chance, considering it RAINED five out of the eight days we were here.

This lady invaded my walk down memory lane:

You know, why is it that certain things not changing is considered a good thing? You know, when you come back and visit a place from your childhood and say to yourself, "Wow, this place hasn't changed a bit!" Why is that such a great feeling? Is it that we all somehow want things to remain the same? Does it somehow give us a sense of consistency, normalcy, continuity, sanity?

Anyway, this area by the ticket booths at the Fort hasn't changed a bit in 30 years.

Well, maybe this sign is new:

But this is almost exactly the same as I remember it from the 70s, except for the fact that it's paved:

And here we have...rocks:

Now you might be thinking, "All right, Troll. What's up with all the stupid pictures of those ugly rocks? Enough already."

Well, you see, I like it when things don't change.

And I'm pretty certain those rocks haven't changed any.

I'm pretty sure those rocks were put in place in 1970, when the Fort was being built.

I was 1 year old. So on some average day in 1970 when I was in my playpen, drooling on my rattle, there was some Joey Bag of Donuts manager who was telling his work crew: "All right, you mugs. I want you to drive the truck over to that big pile of corral rocks they have piled up, bring back five of them, and arrange them right here on this corner. Got it? Five rocks. Not four, not six, five. Capiche? Hurry up. I'll be over there by that petting zoo they're building right past that windmill, drinking my Tab."

Here's the view of Pioneer Hall from those rocks:

Notice the walking path is concrete:

Back in the day, all these walking paths were made out of mulch. I wonder when they paved them?

Here's a sign:

Notice the damage on the left side of it. I wonder how it got damaged? Perhaps our friends Johnnie Walker or Captain Morgan had something to do with it.

Oh, hey! Look here:

Ask and you shall receive! Thanks for committing vandalism way back in 1987, Alicia! I bet the guy who poured the concrete for this sidewalk was really pissed off in the morning the day after he poured it in 1987!

"Stupid kids! What is this effing world coming to?!? These little punks are the future! Just think what the world will be like!"

Of course, Alicia is probably, like, 45 now. I wonder if she ruined the future by being an undisciplined punk?

Maybe she's reading along?

Chime in if you are, Alicia.

There used to be rose bushes all along this...hey, wait a minute. What's that kid doing in my photo?

You know, these kids nowadays, they pop out and start acting like the future belongs to them! I mean, what the hell? These kids are getting out of control. They're always in my way when I'm trying to, you know, like, ride the Goofy Barnstormer ride. Or when I'm trying to get one of those free Duffy coloring pages. Or when I'm trying to get a good seat at the Chip and Dale sing along.

Ahhhh...much better. No kids:

So by now you're probably thinking, "All right, Troll. I thought you said we were going to the rocking chairs!"

OK, fine. Here we are:

Coming up next, we meet the fun people who hang out on the porch by the rocking chairs!

[DaveInTN 3,247]

You're right....like the old saying goes; All is fair in love and rocking chairs.  You had every right to that chair, and the old lady should be faster on her feet. 

 

So much has changed at the Fort over the years, that if you can take some small comfort in a pile of rocks then I am happy for you. 

[LONE-STAR 370]

I am going to add my own rant. Why do they have to line up the Hoop Dee Do people if front of trails end. When you park your cart and try to get through the line to get a refill the people are always rude. Why can't they send the line towards the bus stop where there is nothing. Ok I am done your photos reminded me of that. Keep on ranting.

[LONE-STAR 370]

I am going to add my own rant. Why do they have to line up the Hoop Dee Do people if front of trails end. When you park your cart and try to get through the line to get a refill the people are always rude. Why can't they send the line towards the bus stop where there is nothing. Ok I am done your photos reminded me of that. Keep on ranting.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I think they line up the HDDR people that way so that everyone gathered on the porch or coming up from the marina will see the crowd and think "I need to do that show...it's popular!". 

[devores 382]

I am going to add my own rant. Why do they have to line up the Hoop Dee Do people if front of trails end. When you park your cart and try to get through the line to get a refill the people are always rude. Why can't they send the line towards the bus stop where there is nothing. Ok I am done your photos reminded me of that. Keep on ranting.

 

 

I think they line up the HDDR people that way so that everyone gathered on the porch or coming up from the marina will see the crowd and think "I need to do that show...it's popular!". 

They used to line them up from the other direction.

 

It was not very efficient and caused just as many congested areas as now. When lined up from the ticket window area, the greeters would greet them and sign them in, then they would walk in front of the entrance to the photographer to get their picture taken, then congregate in front of TE until the doors opened, then go back to where they started to line up to get in.

 

The way it is now creates one straight path for guests to follow and creates order.

 

Not that I am defending it, but there are reasons for everything Disney does.

[Big Kahuna aka John 71]

"Not that I am defending it, but there are reasons for everything Disney does."

 

And it usually begins, ends,  and is driven by $$$$$

[alexwyattmommy 181]

Got nothing to add, looking forward to more.

[caveat lector 181]

Troll TRs are a thing to behold. As usual, I'm enjoying the read.

While I don't possess a Bret Michael's concert T, he has made two notable contributions to society. The best is the snapple iced tea he cobbled together on celebrity apprentice. That stuff was tasty. Oh ya, and some great 80s hair rock. Still doesn't excuse the rolled up cowboy hat, but I'm just say in'

Keep it comin' Mighty Troll!

[The Troll 67]

You're right....like the old saying goes; All is fair in love and rocking chairs.  You had every right to that chair, and the old lady should be faster on her feet. 

 

So much has changed at the Fort over the years, that if you can take some small comfort in a pile of rocks then I am happy for you. 

 

That's right! Those rocking chairs are a rare commodity these days. You have to be fast and aggressive. Otherwise you remain confined to the hard reality of hard picnic table benches.

 

I am going to add my own rant. Why do they have to line up the Hoop Dee Do people if front of trails end. When you park your cart and try to get through the line to get a refill the people are always rude. Why can't they send the line towards the bus stop where there is nothing. Ok I am done your photos reminded me of that. Keep on ranting.

 

Yeah, and the people also block the entrance to folks who want to go up and order takeout. I agree it's not the best setup.

 

"Not that I am defending it, but there are reasons for everything Disney does."

 

And it usually begins, ends,  and is driven by $$$$$

 

And really, can you blame them?

 

Got nothing to add, looking forward to more.

 

More is on the way!

 

Troll TRs are a thing to behold. As usual, I'm enjoying the read.

While I don't possess a Bret Michael's concert T, he has made two notable contributions to society. The best is the snapple iced tea he cobbled together on celebrity apprentice. That stuff was tasty. Oh ya, and some great 80s hair rock. Still doesn't excuse the rolled up cowboy hat, but I'm just say in'

Keep it comin' Mighty Troll!

 

I'm glad you're reading along. Thank you so much! And you're the first I've met who's actually been able to say constructive things about Brett Michaels!

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

You are cracking me up.

 

In my best karaoke voice, "Every rose has its thorn."

 

I agree about the curled up cowboy hats.

 

They are goofy.

 

I hope we get to hear from the hellion known as Alicia later in the TR!

[The Troll 67]

OK, as promised, it's time to meet some fun people whom we met while minding our own business on the rocking chairs.

But before we begin, let me set the record straight: I like the Hoop Dee Do. There. I admitted it. I like it. Pretty much, I like everything Disney. Everything except the prices. I love the damned place.

Now, let's recount the fun things we heard from some of the fun people we met while sitting in the rocking chairs on the porch.

First, we met a grandma who was raising her daughter's children. The grandma had a very unique vocabulary. For example, she described raising children as "wiping tail." She also informed us that she had two children -- a son and a daughter. The son, she said, turned out well. The daughter, well, not so much. So she illustrated this phenomenon by telling us that she had one child "from each hole."

I hope me recounting this story doesn't violate this board's G-rating.

Next there was this old dude wearing one of those shirts with drawings of mixed drinks all over it. You know the shirt I'm talking about. This:

He had a comb-over haircut and wore his tube socks all the way up to his knees.

I don't know what his name was, but let's call him Harold. He looked like a Harold. Harold was a nice enough guy, and he was a self-appointed Disney expert. "I've been coming here for over 40 years!" he told me. He had all sorts of very interesting "factoids" that he wanted to educate me on. Clearly he had no idea who he was talking to. Anyway, here are a few of the great factoids he shared with me:

"I first came to Epcot in 1980!"

"Back before the Animal Kingdom, they did (past tense) all the animals, you know, electronically. You got on this boat and road by them all and the boat captain would pull out a gun and shoot the hippo! Now they have real animals."

"Skip and Dale do a show here for free. They sing and dance."

I remember a great book I read 20 years ago. It's called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Andrew Carnegie. It's a famous book. One of the lessons I took from that book was, "Let the gentleman be right."

So that's what I did.

After a bit, I decided to check up on River Country.

Still nothing going on over there...except weeds and decay.

I stuck my camera through the fence for the mandatory slide and pool photo:

I've said in past threads that I believe River Country could reopen. I still believe that. But clearly a lot of repairs would be in order. Look at the faux rocks under the slide. Notice they've broken and the rebar is exposed. Here's a zoomed-in shot for a better look:

*Sniff*! *Sniff*!

Look at that plastic, white chair.

River Country closed in 2001. That means that that chair has sat in that spot for 12 years.

Or, well, that's the story I tell myself.

You know, there are two persistent urban legends that keep getting retold about the closure of River Country. Both are false. The first urban legend is that RC was closed because there were deadly amoebas in the lake water that fed the slides and the landing pool. This is false. Yes, there was a child that did get infected by the deadly amoebas and the child did die, but that was in 1980. RC stayed open for 21 years after that event. The second urban legend holds that RC closed because a Florida state law requires that water park slide be fed by municipal water sources and/or that the landing pool cannot be a natural body of water.

False again. The law simply requires that the water of the slide and the landing pool be potable. It doesn't matter where it comes from. Disney could (and was) simply filter and treat the lake water to meet this requirement.

So what caused RC's demise?

This schmuck:

Yes, those bunghole 911 hijackers.

The 911 terrorist attacks caused a huge decline in Disney attendance. As a consequence, Disney shut down certain underperforming attractions to stanch the bleeding. Sure enough, RC was one such attraction. Clearly RC must have been moderately profitable before 9/11; otherwise Disney would have closed it sooner. Probably in the years leading up to 9/11, management was probably on the fence about closing RC. It was probably profitable, but its profits were likely dwindling every year. So 9/11 was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

*Sigh.*

Here's another shot past the fence:

There's a big part of me that wishes they would just hurry up and bulldoze this place. To me it's like watching a deer that's been hit by a car die a slow, painful death. It makes you just want to put it out of its misery.

This rock has by circumstance become an unintentional attraction of sorts:

It's sought out by 40-something-year-olds who climb up on it to get a glimpse over the fence.

Areas still open to the public are also in decline. This fence is leaning badly:

And these logs were once a landscaping border:

And look here! A decorative rock!

Notice the decorative rock has a hole in it. Very cool. Let's look through the hole:

OK, now I'm depressed. Enough for now. Next up, my dogs play football.