The Trolls Run from Isaac!

[Gots2pitt.. Jeff 64]

Oh, and good job on the Citrico's rant. Although, that same rant could apply to any of the sit-downs at WDW these days. 28 bucks for Seared Tofu? They can't be serious.

TCD

It's really expensive to kill the Tofu.

[SCTigerCock 171]

Whew, Finally caught up!!

Love the DVC rant, love the drink pics and especially love the dog walks!

[The Troll 67]

all caught up and just a little scared of the green stuff story

Well, it's coming!

DVC - I am member, but I agree that a DVC at Fort Wilderness is bad. I Love my DVC, I have easily gotten my money back and have been able to take friends with me.

I see DVCs like credit cards -- if you use them smartly, you make out. But, unfortunately, I think a lot of people don't use them smartly.

I hate St. Augustine grass.

But, ours is green, except when we haven't had enough rain.

That is because we pay Scott's to come around and put stuff on it every month or so.

We used to DIY but after a heavy chinch bug infestation, lost our back yard and had to hire a service to rescue it or face hefty fines from our friendly POA.

After the yard came back, it was just easier to keep them around. And a lot less frustrating.

I have put every blasted chemical, treatment, fertilizer, and bug killer on that backyard lawn. It just won't grow. Maybe I need to hire Scotts, too.

Hang on a second.

You just drove your cart to the Lodge in broad daylight?

Even I am not that crazy.

Oh, and good job on the Citrico's rant. Although, that same rant could apply to any of the sit-downs at WDW these days. 28 bucks for Seared Tofu? They can't be serious.

TCD

No, no -- I drove the Troll Mobile (my SUV) to the Lodge, not the Kenny cart. Although, admittedly, I have driven the Kenny cart there before and pretended I didn't see the "No Carts" signs.

Somehow I suspect you have, too!

It's really expensive to kill the Tofu.

Tell me about it! I wonder how many people have unwittingly made reservations at Citricos and gotten there and left, once they got a gander at the menu.

Whew, Finally caught up!!

Love the DVC rant, love the drink pics and especially love the dog walks!

I'm glad to have you reading along! More rants to come! I wonder who else I can offend?

[The Troll 67]

OK, so when we last left off, I was at the Wilderness Lodge enjoying the free -- yes, FREE -- gym. For the longest time I didn't even think the word "free" worked anywhere at Disney World. But it does work at Sturdy Branches. Just hand 'em your resort room key and work out to your heart's content.

When my workout was done, I decided to walk on over to the grand Lodge lobby. I like to do that. I pretend I belong there. I hobnob with all the high rollers there. I don't tell anyone I'm really a cheapo campground lowlife who's sponging off their resort gym.

So with that, I deliver unto you this:

You're hobnobbing with the high rollers!

Ahhhh...just imagine -- you're sitting in that grand lobby in one of those plush easy chairs and there are Disney World newbs sitting nearby, discussing their plan to take the monorail over to Hollywood Studios.

Newbs!

And here's another POV:

After a while, I had had enough of silently laughing at the newbs and their excited talk about riding Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, so I got up and made my way back to camp.

I was hot and sweaty, so I decided to take a quick dip at the Fort pool.

Don't worry -- I took a shower before jumping in.

But before I hit the pool, I decided to cruise around the bike barn area first.

I noticed more workers busting their butts doing landscaping work. Check them out:

And here are more hard working dudes, earning their living the old fashioned, honorable way:

Notice the one guy wiping the sweat out of his eyes. It was really hot, steamy, and damp. Nasty.

Poor guys.

Now, notice that in all the pictures I've posted of dudes busting their butts in the heat, all the dudes are Hispanics. That made me wonder -- do Americans not do manual labor anymore?

But then I found the American dude.

Here he is now:

Yes, that's the latest Android cell phone in his hand. Way to go, American dude!

Our country's future is so bright.

Anyway, here's some of the product of those hardworking dudes' sweat and toil:

And here's some more:

See this tree in this picture:

Those sweaty dudes had just planted it...

...no thanks to Android dude.

The sweaty dudes and Android dude arrived here at the job site in these trucks:

I bet Android dude didn't even drive. I bet he sat in the passenger seat with his seat all the way reclined and all the A/C vents pointed at him...

...while playing "Angry Birds."

Here's the name of the company he works for, if you want to report him:

Now, is it my imagination, or did a company that has landed a choice Disney contract actually name itself "Commercial Companies"? Isn't that like naming your dog "Doggy Dog"?

Anyway, so now I parked the Kenny cart, rinsed off in the shower, and jumped in the pool.

Within seconds I wanted to go down the slide:

It's awesome -- I'm a 43-year-old dude standing in line with 7-year-olds to go down a water slide...

...and I distract the 7-year-olds and cut in front of them.

Ha ha. Kidding. Kidding.

Anyway, it turned out that my juvenile urge to ride a child's amusement exposed me to a very awkward situation. When I got to the top of the stairs, I found myself at the end of the line. At the front of the line was this cute little 6-year-old...and it was suddenly his turn to go down the slide.

Well, as the Troll's luck would have it, he chickened out. His mother, standing immediately behind him, yelled at him: "Josh! It's your turn! Go!"

The child, however, didn't want any part of it. I guess all that water spraying down the sides of the slide creeped him out.

"No!" he yelled. "I want to ride with you!"

"You can't ride with me!" she shouted back.

So, as one would expect, the boy jumped out of line and tried to hide in the corner of the queue area at the top of the slide.

His mother, embarrassed, I guess, wasted no time. She grabbed the kid by his armpits, lifted him, and carried him back to the entrance of the slide. The boy started screaming bloody murder and kicking his legs frantically.

"No! No! No! Please, no! I don't want to go!"

But the mother would have none of it. She literally threw the 6-year-old down the slide.

And down he looped, screaming the whole way down.

The mother then looked at us all in line -- as I'm sure we were all standing there transfixed and in shock -- and said, "There. You see? That's how you handle that."

And down she slid.

Soon enough, I slid down, too, but once I was at the bottom, I was too traumatized to go again, so I got out of the pool, dried off, and headed back to camp.

Once back at camp, we decided it was time for another dose of looping. So we stuffed the dogs in the cart and off we went.

Here's the 800 loop, which we had been told was closed for electrical work:

But we didn't see any electrical work going on.

I did notice this electrical box was out of commission, though:

*Sigh*...more emptiness:

And here's the bridge that crosses the canal over to the group camping area:

Check this shot out:

And they had been doing some work with a backhoe here:

And here's a completely uninspiring shot of the Meadow Trading Post:

Just think -- as we cruised by the trading post on our cart, there was happy checkers playing and stuffed animal shopping going on in there!

I'm not sure what loop this is:

It's a loop. What can I say?

Oh, I forgot to post these shots I took when I was over at the pool area.

Here's this one:

Any idea what those...things are?

They look like hitching posts for tying up horses.

And then there's this:

See those orange things over on the left? If you're saying, "You mean the kayaks?"

Wrong!

Those are instruments of evil.

They are related to my encounter with the green muck.

That story is still yet to come...

But for now, just say no to the "kayaks" at the Fort! Trust me -- just say no.

OK, it's after 10PM, my time, so I must wind this installment up.

Coming up next, a Troll Rant about dumb people who ruin their vacations by exercising!

P.S.: I'm so happy! This TR has officially gone over 4,000 views! Yee ha! It would be really, really great if I could get 10,000 views. I know, I know -- that's a lofty goal for a trip reporter who's been on hiatus, but help me get there, will ya? It would be so awesome to crack the 10,000 view watermark! I sorted this forum by number of views, and like, 18 of the top 20 threads were created by that TDD guy...and a bunch of those were over 10,000 views.

Dislike.

So help me steal some thunder from that guy. How can you help? Easy! Pull up this TR in your browser and then hit the F5 button on your keyboard like 100 times!

Kidding, kidding.

Please don't ban me.

[mommy rainbo.....Bo 41]

I check in with your TR at least once a day if not 2 or 3 times to check for updates so I am doing my part to get you to 10,000.

[KeepSwimmingDory 2]

I'm really am enjoying your writing, humor & photos. Especially love the photos of random objects and from different angles. I'm not a photographer, but I love playing around with the camera and photographing the details. My kids make fun of me for taking pictures of trash cans and light fixtures.

Great job!

[momof3kids-Yvonne 596]

I too am doing my part to help you get to the 10,000 views. Your trip report literally has me :rofl3: :rofl2:.

I didn't know there was a gym over at the Lodge and that we could use it when we stayed at FW. Something like this will be very useful to know for any future trips.

Not for me mind you but for dh and ds. Those crazy boys like to workout when they are on vacations.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Another great update, Norm.

Do people have F5 keys on their keyboards anymore?

I agree with you that it is nice to sit and enjoy the Lodge's lobby. I especially like to do that when the Christmas decorations are up.

Those hitching post things were actually discussed in a previous TCD TR. I can't think of any reason why there would be a need to hitch a horse there, so my best guess is that they are barricades to protect something that is underground there. Don't quote me on this, but I think it might be a tunnel to the Magic Kingdom.

TCD

[Gots2pitt.. Jeff 64]

Coming up next, a Troll Rant about dumb people who ruin their vacations by exercising!

Ok so what did you pull? And why does it sound like something I would do?

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

Another great update, Norm.

Do people have F5 keys on their keyboards anymore?

I agree with you that it is nice to sit and enjoy the Lodge's lobby. I especially like to do that when the Christmas decorations are up.

Those hitching post things were actually discussed in a previous TCD TR. I can't think of any reason why there would be a need to hitch a horse there, so my best guess is that they are barricades to protect something that is underground there. Don't quote me on this, but I think it might be a tunnel to the Magic Kingdom.

TCD

I do but since it's a laptop you have to push another button to use it and I don't know what the other button is.... Where is doodle when you need her?

[doodlebug....Cherie 461]

Ok, I am literally laughing my butt off over the mom and 6 year old! :rofl2:

[Momof6....aka Marty 769]

Oh good, another child traumatized on a trip to WDW. Keep it up, folks. Then, by the time I retire, WDW will be practically empty and I can enjoy it at my leisure. :D

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

More great updates!

BTW, I've visited your TR many times without commenting ... sorry ... but I am keeping up! I'll try to do better.

Still looking forward to the green muck story.

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

BTW, I've visited your TR many times without commenting ... sorry ... but I am keeping up! I'll try to do better.

Me too....

[stefa70 205]

:dogsnicker: Good stuff Norm.

[fortpartyof4 108]

You are cracking me up.

But aren't you one of the people who exercises on vacation?

[Momof6....aka Marty 769]

I too, read without commenting. *blush*

[fladogfan aka Gretchen 259]

I AM NOT looking forward to the green goo story... blah

[Family of Bears 98]

Enjoying the report. I was also surprised to see you are younger and less hairy than I expected. Your rants make you seem older and grumpier than you actually are. You're just saying out loud what most people choose to filter out and keep to themselves. Enjoying the TR. Good work.

[Discamper 394]

TCD didn't you find the old Fort totem poles back on the horse trail on one of your Adventures?

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

TCD didn't you find the old Fort totem poles back on the horse trail on one of your Adventures?

I'm not sure what totem poles have to do with The Trolls' (apostrophe after the s, right?) TR, but yes.

Here they are:

TCD

[Southern Blessings 4]

Enjoying your pics and story! I hope you make it to 10,000!

[Discamper 394]

TCD You are right I kwen I posted it on Your First Time and didn't know I was on the Troll TR sorry Troll

[dvccamper 32]

Ha ha! And here I thought I was kind of safe ranting about DVCs on a Fort Wilderness site!

I must chime in here on your DVC rant. I agree that they must be near to hitting their saturation point. I am shocked that people are still buying. Have you seen how much Disney sells DVC points for? And for the record I am against a FW DVC. Wilderness Lodge is close enough. That being said, we are DVC owners , bought 10 years ago through the resale market which is much less than buying through Disney. We have had numerous great vacations at resorts I normally would not be able to afford. I check the resales often and if we sold we would get back about what we paid for it. So not bad. So I don't consider myself a sucker. And besides, I would never wear leather boots in August :laugh:

[The Troll 67]

I check in with your TR at least once a day if not 2 or 3 times to check for updates so I am doing my part to get you to 10,000.

Thank you so much! Please keep doing your part!

I'm really am enjoying your writing, humor & photos. Especially love the photos of random objects and from different angles. I'm not a photographer, but I love playing around with the camera and photographing the details. My kids make fun of me for taking pictures of trash cans and light fixtures.

Great job!

Thank you so much! I have tons more pictures of inanimate objects still to come!

I too am doing my part to help you get to the 10,000 views. Your trip report literally has me :rofl3: :rofl2:.

I didn't know there was a gym over at the Lodge and that we could use it when we stayed at FW. Something like this will be very useful to know for any future trips.

Not for me mind you but for dh and ds. Those crazy boys like to workout when they are on vacations.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support. The Sturdy Branches gym is really very good. Your DH and DS will love it.

Another great update, Norm.

Do people have F5 keys on their keyboards anymore?

I agree with you that it is nice to sit and enjoy the Lodge's lobby. I especially like to do that when the Christmas decorations are up.

Those hitching post things were actually discussed in a previous TCD TR. I can't think of any reason why there would be a need to hitch a horse there, so my best guess is that they are barricades to protect something that is underground there. Don't quote me on this, but I think it might be a tunnel to the Magic Kingdom.

TCD

I can't see any reason to tie a horse there either...I was wondering if maybe there was a time horses did come this way? I doubt it, though, huh?

Ok so what did you pull? And why does it sound like something I would do?

Ha ha, no, it wasn't me. Stay tuned for the rant!

Ok, I am literally laughing my butt off over the mom and 6 year old! :rofl2:

Yeah, I guess after the fact it is funny. Standing in line and experiencing it, though, was, well, not so much!

Oh good, another child traumatized on a trip to WDW. Keep it up, folks. Then, by the time I retire, WDW will be practically empty and I can enjoy it at my leisure. :D

Ha ha, yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. But someday in, like, 20 years, that kid will be telling his wife, "This one time, my mom threw me down this slide."

More great updates!

BTW, I've visited your TR many times without commenting ... sorry ... but I am keeping up! I'll try to do better.

Still looking forward to the green muck story.

Thank you, thank you! And the muck story is coming.

Me too....

Thanks! I'm just so glad to have you reading along.

:dogsnicker: Good stuff Norm.

Thank you!