Keylime359 2 Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 We have been having challenges with Gabriella recently and that has had my time. I think of all of you when I am at my wits end and remember we are all in the same boat and will get through. I was going to book Ocean Lakes and had a spot and realized it would be pointless. She won't come out of the camper, she will complain and make us miserable until the vacation is over. We will fight because I want her to go out and have fun and meet kids. Then I will feel guilty because it is my wish for her not her desire. All in all it is depressing and I am trying to deal with it. I am even thinking of selling the camper because what is the point? Other than it is where I go to "cool off" after meltdowns. so, my question. When you get down, how do you pull yourself up? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Lisa 53 Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 When I am feeling down I try to concentrate on the things that have gone right in my life. Sometimes it is hard to find them, but I just make myself keep looking. If you concentrate on the good stuff then the bad seems small in comparison. Strive each day to make the mundane marvelous! Would Gabriella be OK by herself in the camper while you were outside, or do you need to stay with her? If so, then maybe you should go camping and just let her find her own time to come out of the camper. Bring along some things that she enjoys and give her some space to do what she wants to do (even if that is complain). I don't know if this is helpful or not as I don't know the whole back story with Gabriella. I'm sorry if I missed the mark. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PureTcrazy...rita 380 Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 I ride in the car with the windows down, usually down to the river. There's something about water that is relaxing to me. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ftwildernessguy 778 Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Allison - sent you a PM on Facebook. Re. the issue at hand here - I used to get really frustrated when we went on a Fort trip and all Chris wanted to do was stay in the camper and nap. Then I realized that to her, that was vacation, and she didn't really deal well with all the activity a Disney trip entails. We were able to leave her in the camper during the day while we were out and about, although she was older than your daughter at the time. Everybody was happier.As far as pulling myself out, I discovered many years ago while on an Army deployment that, at the end of the day, it helped to take a few moments and reflect on my day and try to find something that I had accomplished that made me just a little better off. Now I will admit, some days it was hard to do, and some days I couldn't find anything, but in most cases, no matter how bad the day had been, I was able to come up with some accomplishment that showed I had made some progress. If I can do that on a cot in the jungle in central america surrounded by people who want to kill me, you should be able to do it in Florida. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kampfirekim 260 Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 We have been having challenges with Gabriella recently and that has had my time. I think of all of you when I am at my wits end and remember we are all in the same boat and will get through. I was going to book Ocean Lakes and had a spot and realized it would be pointless. She won't come out of the camper, she will complain and make us miserable until the vacation is over. We will fight because I want her to go out and have fun and meet kids. Then I will feel guilty because it is my wish for her not her desire. All in all it is depressing and I am trying to deal with it. I am even thinking of selling the camper because what is the point? Other than it is where I go to "cool off" after meltdowns. so, my question. When you get down, how do you pull yourself up?I'm so very sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. We've been down this road so many times as well. For us camping is the best option for a vacation b/c our son can feel "at home" wherever we are. Generally, we try to plan around what he can tolerate. If his behavior doesn't allow us to take him out then someone stays in with him while we allow our other son to do something fun. It's all about finding a happy medium so that everyone can have a good time and no one is utterly miserable. Does this always work? No. Sadly in our world there are no simple answers. I've been so close to going over the edge b/c of all the stress and I wish I had a simple solution for you on that. I try to find a positive to dwell on... such as progress he's made and how much better it is than it used to be. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. My coping tactics change often depending on whatever works in the moment. Hope you're feeling better today and that things get better soon. :-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keylime359 2 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thank you all for your kind words. It is hard and we have our ups and downs (and really far downs) last night I realized that we need help from outside and it scares me. We have been down this road before. The doctors in all the politically correctness dance around the real issue. I dealt with the autism and made it out the other side so I am not going to keel over if they tell me bipolar. After she calmed down and we spoke even she asked me if that is what it was. She was smart enough to google her feelings and symptoms. Being that she has always read the mayo clinic books for "fun" this did not suprise me. In the spirit of finding good in an awful situation I will share. I found it funny and I am sure the parents on here with kids on the spectrum will relate. While we were having the talk she hits me with her google university knowledge. She, as serious as can be, says It's not schizophrenia I don't meet the qualifiers. But, I do tend to lean in the direction of bipolar, or manic as some would say." If you have seen the commercials for google overload it reminded me of that. It was funny and sad all at the same time. Every day I am thankful she is as functioning as she is. Where she started out was scary and she overcame that. I have to believe she will overcome this as well. I am also thankful for you all. Being open and honest is such a comfort. I can't go to my "friends" here because most just don't get it. They have their children and the biggest challenge they face is getting the monogramming to match the bows. Not that I am looking down on them mind you but having a nanny to get a break sure would be nice at times. I guess I will just settle for a glass of wine and be thankful for all I do have, online fiends, a supportive husband and a great kid who just needs extra help. We are the new All- American family. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DaveInTN 3,247 Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 We are the new All- American family.That is a fact. And it seems that more families deal with mental health or developmental disabilities than it seems on the surface. Many don't discuss the issues, partly because of what you stated; others don't seem to understand. So it's always helpful to find a community of people that have experienced similar issues and that you can connect with. And this here is a pretty awesome community. I'm thankful to be a part of it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Momoffive aka Loretta 34 Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Ali, I should so call you and order "pizza" again! LOL Seriously if you need to chat! We are going thru it here too with both boys. My heart is broken. We too were dreading the additional diagnosis for one of the boys not long ago, but the powers that be said no to the bipolar and the schizophrenia. Instead they handed us a list of 5 other diagnosis. We were getting him under control and now the other one is all over the place. It's sad and it hurts that we as parents can't have them curl them up on our laps and kiss the boo boo away. We have an appointment with a psychologist in less than 2 weeks. I hope it helps. My fear is he too is too smart some times. He knows just what to say to snowball somebody. You?re not alone! Call if you'd like, pm me if you need the number. She will get thru this and so will you!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kampfirekim 260 Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Allison, that was such a cute "google overload" story! Our special ones can drive us up the wall one minute and have us rolling with laughter the next can't they? I completely understand what you mean about most of your friends not getting it. I have a few who do...and even some who THINK they do but there's no way to understand unless you've been there. Actually, hearing you talk about how much your daughter has progressed helps me to keep hope alive that my Gabriel will get there too. He's still very young and has a long way to go but hearing your story and the stories of the others really helps me know that it IS possible. Love ya'll and I'm so thankful for this community of fiends too! :wetpants: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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