The Trolls Return to the Fort

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

OK, time for another fun photo quiz!

 

How did I take this self-portrait:

 

 

 

You used the mirror mounted on the corner of the fence to take that photo.  That mirror dates back to when golf carts used to be allowed to drive across the bridge.

 

Golf carts don't drive over the bridge anymore, but I guess the mirror is there for bicyclists to see what they're about to crash in to.

 

Indian Springs?  Nice

 

I wonder how many people here, have taken a dip there?

 

I have.

 

 

I too have taken a dip in Indian Springs.  Good times.  Sigh.

Begging your pardon, gentlemen, but I respectfully must call BS on the dipping in Indian Springs claims.

 

Indian Springs was a splash area, much like the current splash zone at the Meadow Pool- minus the slides.

 

You may have enjoyed River Country, but there was no dipping in Indian Springs.

 

TCD

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

When you're two years old....any water equals dipping.

[mommy rainbo.....Bo 41]

Yes we have those cool birds up here in the north or at least in south jersey.

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

When you're two years old....any water equals dipping.

 

Same here! Youth has its privileges.

[thecplusplusguy 7]

I started going to the Fort when I was 1 or 2 years old (Not sure if we went the first year it was open or not) and we went to RC a lot, so I'm sure I dipped, splashed, or what ever in Indian Springs.

 

Great trip report,

 

Dan

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Yoo Hoo!

 

Troll!

 

It's been two weeks since your last update.

 

I think it's time.

 

TCD

[North7... Jeff 2]

Hey Troll, I'm hoping the delay in your posting is because you're trying to let the anticipation build!!  If that's not the case, I hope everything works out for the best.   

[The Troll 67]

Yoo Hoo!

 

Troll!

 

It's been two weeks since your last update.

 

I think it's time.

 

TCD

 

 

Hey Troll, I'm hoping the delay in your posting is because you're trying to let the anticipation build!!  If that's not the case, I hope everything works out for the best.   

 

I am very pleased to report that I am not dead.

 

I just had a ton of stuff on my plate and my trip report had to be temporarily on hold. I sincerely apologize. At first I thought it would just be on hold for a few days, but then I found myself up to my eyeballs in alligators.

 

But then better late than never, right? Let's get the report started again!

 

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Woo hoo!

[The Troll 67]

When we last left off long, long ago, Mrs. Troll and I had dinner plans for Boma.

 

If you aren't familiar with Boma, it's a fancy buffet over at the Animal Kingdom Lodge that celebrates the "tastes of Africa."

 

I don't know about that.

 

I'll expound on that concept in a moment.

 

First, let me tell you that this was our third visit to Boma. On our first visit, we were impressed. It seemed there was such a wide variety of new, interesting things to try.

 

On our second visit, the Trolls brought along their entire Troll clan -- brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc. -- and sat at a huge table in the center of the dining room. Again, it was a good dinner, but the luster seemed to be wearing off.

 

So, again, this was our third visit to Boma.

 

And you know what?

 

I think we're done with that place.

 

I mean, the food isn't bad...but it isn't great either. And they want $40 a person for it.

 

Remember, it's a buffet.

 

For $40 per person.

 

Now it's no secret that the Troll is a 'Ohana junkie. The Troll loves 'Ohana. The Troll does not balk at the hefty price tag at 'Ohana. But that's because the Troll makes the Disney mercenaries bring him an entire Longhorn cow's worth of meat.

 

But that doesn't happen at the Boma joint. Really, there's very little meat there at all. They have this bucket of ribs that are coated with a strange-tasting sauce. Then they have grilled chicken, which is good, but not $40 good.

 

Now if you've been to Boma before, you might be saying, "Troll! How dare you?! I love Boma! And you forgot about the prime rib carving station!"

 

Yeah, uh huh. Yes, they have a slab-o-meat carving station at Boma. But if you ask for a hunk of meat, they carve you a paper-thin sliver about the size of a postage stamp. When you look at your plate in confusion, the carver guy puts down his carving knife and looks at you blankly, silently communicating to you, "That's all you're getting, chump."

 

But they do have other stuff to eat at Boma. Like soup:

 

 

Notice that both bowls have very little eaten out of them.

 

That's because they sucked.

 

Here's a little rule of thumb of mine -- if I go to a restaurant and I need to put salt on the food to make it taste like something, the food sucks. That is, when I pay someone to prepare food for me, when I taste the food, it should be just full of flavor. I shouldn't have to dump half a salt shaker on it to make it taste like something. You know what I mean? I mean, what am I paying you for?

 

Anyway, so I didn't waste valuable stomach space on this bland soup. When the waiter came around, he had the audacity to chastise me about how in Morocco, this soup is a specialty and is extremely good for you. You know what, Morocco waiter guy? I don't care. Your soup sucks. I could have just emptied a salt shaker into my mouth and saved myself the money.

 

So I bet you're getting my drift on my review of Boma. But here is a mandatory photo of the Boma meat:

 

I guess if you like chicken or you like greasy ribs with a weird-tasting spice sauce on them, maybe you can eat your money's worth at Boma.

 

Otherwise, it's a rip.

 

$40 a person...no thank you. The only other place I can think of that you can get this ripped off is at Trail's End. $40 for fried chicken and BBQ ribs. You can get better BBQ ribs and chicken at Sonny's for $10 a person.

 

In our future trips to the Fort, Mrs. Troll and I will likely focus even more on preparing meals at the campsite. While I love Disney World with all my heart, I get kind of weary of being gouged.

 

Speaking of getting gouged, here it is in liquid form:

 

 

That one on the right is a Mojito. It's a rum drink. They're good.

 

So overall grade for Boma? C-. Not terrible, but definitely not worth the exorbitant price.

 

So the Troll Trip Report is back online, folks! I have so much more goodness to report. I have to get my bearings again as to where I am in the report, but there's so much more great stuff still to come!

[GaDawgFan.....Kelly 799]

Glad you're back at it! You don't make Boma sound too appealing. No zebra domes or whatever people like there?

[alexwyattmommy 181]

Looks like it is better to go to Jiko's and get the bread and dip instead of the buffet.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Boma is actually the Swahili word meaning "butt cheek of a monkey".  So there you go.  

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

I LOVE Boma's breakfast, but dinner is just "eh"

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Glad to see you back at it, Troll.

 

That guy you ran into at the roast beef carving station at Boma was on the Disney Dream back in August.  Has to be the same guy.  He tried that with me, and I just stood there and stared him down.  He caved and gave me a second slice of beef.  Remember that in the unlikely event that you go back.

 

TCD

[Memphis 105]

When ever I run into stingy portion person I ask them "Is this not any good?" And they always say oh no, it's excellent. To which I say "Then give me a portion large enough for me to enjoy."

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Glad you're back at it! You don't make Boma sound too appealing. No zebra domes or whatever people like there?

 

If you really want to try a zebra dome, you can get one from the bakery at the quick serve restaurant, Mara.

 

I've tried them from Boma, Mara, and the concierge lounge.

 

If you put a zebra dome and a Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Roll in front of me and asked me to choose, I would pick the Little Debbie's 10 times out of 10.

 

Zebra domes aren't bad.  But, they aren't Main Street Cinnamon Rolls or anything.

 

On the official Fort Fiends Scale of Goodness they are just a solid Lou.

 

TCD

[The Troll 67]

Glad you're back at it! You don't make Boma sound too appealing. No zebra domes or whatever people like there?

 

What's a zebra dome?

 

Looks like it is better to go to Jiko's and get the bread and dip instead of the buffet.

 

Never been. Am I missing something special?

 

Boma is actually the Swahili word meaning "butt cheek of a monkey".  So there you go.  

 

Agree!

 

I LOVE Boma's breakfast, but dinner is just "eh"

 

Never had it. It's also a buffet?

 

Glad to see you back at it, Troll.

 

That guy you ran into at the roast beef carving station at Boma was on the Disney Dream back in August.  Has to be the same guy.  He tried that with me, and I just stood there and stared him down.  He caved and gave me a second slice of beef.  Remember that in the unlikely event that you go back.

 

TCD

 

Indeed. Had to make 6 trips to the carving station just to get 6 ounces of meat.

 

When ever I run into stingy portion person I ask them "Is this not any good?" And they always say oh no, it's excellent. To which I say "Then give me a portion large enough for me to enjoy."

 

Great strategy! I'll have to remember that for next time.

 

If you really want to try a zebra dome, you can get one from the bakery at the quick serve restaurant, Mara.

 

I've tried them from Boma, Mara, and the concierge lounge.

 

If you put a zebra dome and a Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Roll in front of me and asked me to choose, I would pick the Little Debbie's 10 times out of 10.

 

Zebra domes aren't bad.  But, they aren't Main Street Cinnamon Rolls or anything.

 

On the official Fort Fiends Scale of Goodness they are just a solid Lou.

 

TCD

 

What does a Mickey Ear score on said Fort Fiend Scale of Goodness?

[The Troll 67]

Continuing on.

 

One objective of this trip was to do a fun Troll review of Tom Sawyer Island. In a recent trip I did a very thorough review and discussion of my favorite ride of rides, Splash Mountain. If you didn't read that review, you should. Go read it. I'll wait.

 

I decided to do another attraction review, and this time I decided to take a road less traveled -- Tom Sawyer Island.

 

Notice I said "attraction" and not "ride." That's because Tom Sawyer Island isn't a ride.

 

It isn't much of an attraction, either.

 

If you're unaware, Tom Sawyer Island is based on the adventures of the classic American fictional character of the same name. It's out of a book written by Mark Twain. So for the people who've never read the book, Tom Sawyer Island can be a bit hard to understand.

 

Which is why no one understands it.

 

Because no one has read that book.

 

The nuns in my Catholic school made me read that book, and it was a grueling experience...sort of like walking across a basketball court...covered in rice...on your knees.

 

Can you imagine that? Ouch.

 

That's what that Tom Sawyer book was like. And so, thank you, Mr. Disney, for expanding that experience by building an attraction dedicated to it.

 

Anyway, to get to Tom Sawyer Island, we, of course, had to go to the Magic Kingdom. So let's take a look at a few photos on the way there.

 

Skies were blue that day:

 

 

We rode the boat over from the Fort.

 

Hey, did you know the bus doesn't run from the Fort to the Magic Kingdom? It's true. It doesn't. You have to ride the boat.

 

Here we are on the boat:

 

 

Note that that is not Mrs. Troll in the photo.

 

We love Main Street USA:

 

 

There's a bit of Disney "common wisdom" that holds that Main Street USA was inspired by Marceline, Missouri, a town where Walt spent his childhood. Well, evidently, like so much "common wisdom," it appears that this is nothing but a myth. Here's a great article on the actual inspiration of Main Street: 

 

http://www.mouseplanet.com/10203/Main_Street_USA_Is_NOT_Based_on_Marceline

 

Frankly, I was not surprised to read this. I've seen photos of Marceline, and it sucks. Even back way when it sucked. From what I've read, Walt only went back there as an adult twice...evidently he realized his childhood memories were fragile.

 

Marceline does NOT look like this, I guarantee you:

 

 

There's another interesting story that the actual inspiration for Main Street was Fort Collins, Colorado. From what I understand, that may be true, as Fort Collins does NOT suck.

 

Aren't digital photos awesome:

 

 

Mrs. Troll likes to walk through the Confectionary:

 

 

Next time you're in the Confectionary, take a good look around. Look at all the incredible details.

 

The Halloween decorations were out and in grand abundance:

 

 

This stuff is called popcorn:

 

 

Theme park operators, baseball team owners, and movie theater entrepreneurs over the past century have all made a fortune off this stuff.

 

This baskets on this rail on the ceiling used to move, if I remember correctly:

 

 

The baskets don't move anymore.

 

You can buy M&M's here:

 

 

You can also buy them at Dollar General.

 

For 1/16th the price.

 

They come from the same factory. And taste precisely the same.

 

Lots of lollipops and Goofy powder:

 

 

At least they stuck Goofy's face on the Goofy powder, unlike the M&Ms. That way you can feel like you're buying something exclusive when you tap into that overdraft protection when you're paying for it. Like I said before, Goofy makes all things better.

 

Back out on the street, the band was playing:

 

 

Look at the nerd with the tuba. You know how you get selected to play the tuba in a band?

 

It happens when you suck at everything else.

 

Main Street was hustling and bustling:

 

 

The awesome Fall decorations were out:

 

 

I always wonder where they stuff all this junk when it's not in season. And then how do they find it all again? I can't find Mrs. Troll's Christmas wreath up in my attic, let alone all this stuff to decorate an entire theme park.

 

There was a debate here on FF.net over whether or not the Main Street bakery was shut down to open up a Starbucks. Well, case closed:

 

 

I think it's great they've built a trite, ordinary name brand coffee shop on Main Street. To make the modern main street feel complete, they need to open a Dollar General, Kmart, Firestone tire shop, and a We Buy Gold joint.

 

What's up with that We Buy Gold noise, anyway? Why did a zillion of them suddenly appear overnight all across America? And what's up with the dudes out front of them flipping the signs around? What are those sign throwers on, anyway? They sure seem to have a lot of energy.

 

Anyway, at least the sign is still extant:

 

 

Tattoo shop! How did I forget one of those? No main street in America would be complete without one of those! I like the dudes who hang out in front of them. I always get such a warm, welcome, warm fuzzy around them.

 

Oh, you know the guys I'm talking about. They're really skinny, wear wife beater tank tops, have many instances of "body art," and for some reason think it's attractive to stretch a gaping hole in your earlobe. They should make a tattoo Mickey for Disney. He could have those big holes in his ears. That way, you know, Disney would better connect with the younger generation.

 

Here's the inside of the stupid Starbuck:

 

 

Something caught Mrs. Troll's eye:

 

 

I don't like the Starbuck. I mean, I like the coffee they sell there and all, but I don't like that it supplanted the classic bakery.

 

There's so much other crap that can be gotten rid of...why the bakery? You know, like the weird, creepy Country Bear thing. "There was blood on the saddle..." Is anyone in Disney management actually aware that that "attraction" is still turned on? I mean, the Country Bear building would make one fine Dollar General. After all, they jam Dollar Generals in any abandoned building imaginable. I hear that the Silver Dome is being turned into one.

 

In the South, churches do the same thing. For example, we have an abandoned old AT&T telephone service building that's now a Living Waters of God church. Any empty building either becomes a Dollar General or a church.

 

You know, how many churches can you have in one town? Don't they all compete with each other for customers? I always wondered about that.

 

Anyway, if you thought the Troll Review of Tom Sawyer Island was coming in this installment, well, you thought wrong. You'll have to wait for that.

[michele j 9]

Nice to see this trip report going again.

[PixieB 0]

Catching up, great stuff so far.

We agree on a surprising number of topics-

-You will never see me buy DVC from the mouse. However, I do enjoy renting DVC points. I have also not ruled out buying at resale for "the right price". And "the right price" is practically free, so that's happening any time soon..

-I have stayed at Saratoga Springs, but would prefer to take my rented points elsewhere, exactly because of the blandness factor.

-Coronado Springs is nice.

-We diverge on the subject of Old Key West. I really like it. It's peaceful, the landscaping is pretty, and the rooms are huge.

I must know of this Dollar Store you speak of that has Disney merchandise.....

Looking forward to reading more!

[The Troll 67]

Evidently I've been spelling "confectionery" wrong. Woops.

[GaDawgFan.....Kelly 799]

Evidently I've been spelling "confectionery" wrong. Woops.

That's it. I'm not sure I can read anymore.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

 

What does a Mickey Ear score on said Fort Fiend Scale of Goodness?

 

That's a very good question.

 

But, let's straighten something out.  You're the only one who calls Mickey Premium Bars Mickey Ears.

 

And one more thing- I forgot the proper name for the scale.  It's called the DIT 2.0 Scale.  And, it's still in Beta testing.

 

This is how it looks so far:

 

 

I think a Mickey Premium Bar would fall somewhere in between Steak Fries and Salted Caramel.

 

TCD

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Here's the inside of the stupid Starbuck:

 

 

 

 

 

 This is exactly what the inside of the Main Street Starbucks has looked like every time I've passed by it since it has opened.

 

More employees than customers.

 

The Bakery used to be busy the entire time the MK was open- no matter what time of day.

 

It was a great place to grab a quick snack and grab a table and chairs and enjoy it.

 

Now it's just a big waste of space.

 

I hope someone got fired over this.  But, if someone was fired- it probably wasn't a Disney employee- I imagine Disney got its bag of cash up front. 

 

TCD