The Trolls Return to the Fort

[The Troll 67]

Well, the Trolls are home from the Fort. Let's have some fun with comments:

 

 

Are you sure that girl wasn't the yellow brick road?

 

Good one! Better guess than my Mr. Peanut.

 

Oh and lawn mower pieces

 

Bingo! You win the prize. It's an extreme closeup of the remnants of the Lawnmower Tree lawnmower.

 

I screwed up the quote feature but I am guessing you disapprove of the double stroller.

 

Bingo! Troll no like.

 

Props on the pix.
Don't know what Mrs. the Troll disapproves of.
Is the gear and metal piece part of the old railroad?

 

Thanks for the props! The Troll disapproves of double-wide strollers, especially those being ridden by children old enough to Tweet.

 

Close but no cigar on the gear and metals pieces -- it's the remnants of the Lawnmower Tree lawnmower.

 

I'm guessing the little bit that is left of the old lawnmower under the lawnmower stump

 

Corrrect!

 

That's what I thought too.

 

Too many experts here.

 

Props on the sign and the checkers photo. I like.

 

Thank you! I thought folks would like them.

[The Troll 67]

I kind of like that the "good" stuff is at the Meadows.  The Settlement seems so much more public - there for those people who only come to the Fort to see Hoop De Doo and don't stay to take advantage of everything the Fort has to offer.  The Meadow Trading Post is "ours"!

 

Yeah...that's a good point. Don't get me wrong -- I love Meadows. But from a profit perspective, you'd think they'd expand Settlement.

 

Ok, Now I'm caught up.  

 

I was young single digits, but am I remembering right when I remember a time when the Fort had dirt roads.  

 

I remember riding rented bikes on the dirt roads.  It was in the 70's

 

Dan

 

Dirt roads? I'm afraid I'll have to defer to TCD for the answer to that question. My family and I were hardcore Fort visitors in the 70s and 80s, but I don't remember the roads being dirt. They may have been, but I don't remember them that way.

Go Trolls...

 

Thanks for the encouragement! So great that so many people are reading along and viewing!

That's my guess too.

 

Norm- my compliments on all of the unique perspective shots in that last update.

 

Outstanding!  I especially liked the Lawnmower Tree one.

 

I believe you're back home now.  Sucks to be the Troll.

 

TCD

 

Thanks, TCD.

We are back home. Today was the first day back at work. Boo.

But, hey, guess what? It's no secret that the Troll is a government worker and was furloughed last week while he was enjoying Epcot, Crockett's porch, Typhoon Lagoon, and Mickey Ears outside the Meadows Trading Post. And you know what else? They've announced that we will be back-paid for the time we were on furlough.

You know what that means?

Free vacation time!

Thanks, US taxpayers!

I like the pictures. They kind of remind me of my boyfriend Josh over at easywdw.com. You can make fun of me for liking him since Lou isn't around to do it anymore.

 

Have you mentioned what camera you're using?

 

I have mentioned it in other reports, but it doesn't hurt to mention it again. I shoot with a Nikon Coolpix P90:

[The Troll 67]

Well, as I mentioned in the comments above, the Trolls are back at home. Our Fort trip is over.

 

But the report has only just begun!

 

So it's a little known fact that the Troll typically begins his reports while the Trolls are still at the Fort. So the photos you've been enjoying are hot off the presses. And as I mentioned in the most recent installment, I still have a bunch of pictures of the Settlement to share. So let's get started.

 

 

 

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm on the side of the Settlement Trading Post. There's a walkway, of sorts, that leads from the side door out into the woods, along the wooden fence that shields the service area behind the Trading Post:

 

 

So I decided to take a walk along the fence:

 

 

Here's a quick glimpse of what lies behind the wooden privacy fence:

 

 

Historically, there have been a lot of behind-the-scenes photos here on FF.net and other Disney forums. I have mixed feeling about them. While they tend to satisfy my curiosity, they also dispel the charm and magic of many of the areas. For example, I could have done without seeing those old paint buckets back there.

 

I think this shot is kinda cool:

 

Notice the odd crisscross pattern on the support boards in the roof:

 

 

One of the themed photo sets I did in my last report was one that highlighted the corral rocks all around the Fort.

 

For some reason, that photo set didn't seem to go over.

 

I wonder why?

 

Anyway, here's some more rocks:

 

 

The only thing cool -- or, well, potentially sort of cool -- is that many of these rocks were here when the Settlement first opened.

 

The Fort is dominated by pine trees and cypress trees:

 

 

Speaking of cypress trees, you know that one out in Bay Lake that people tacky-up by throwing tied-together sneakers into it like the power lines of rundown inner cities? That tree is referred to here as "The Shoe Tree." While Mrs. Troll and I were on a boat ride to MK, however, the boat captain pointed that tree out to delighted passengers but referred to the tree as "The Nike Cypress."

 

So which is it?

 

[TROLL RANT]

And, you know, can we stop throwing shoes in it, please? I don't like being reminded of urban decay when I'm at my Happy Place.

 

Thank you!

[/TROLL RANT]

 

 

 

Notice that all these fences have been freshened up:

 

 

You know, I have never seen rustic, wooden fences constructed like this anywhere else.

 

This style is common:

 

 

And this style is also common:

 

 

But the Fort fences?

 

They're Fort Exclusives. Can anyone produce a photo of a Fort Fence from anywhere other than the Fort? I bet not.

 

Here's a Unique Perspective shot:

 

 

This shot is out of focus, but you get it anyway:

 

 

 

See, if I post all my photos, including the bad ones, I get to brag about the large number of photos I've delivered to you, my loyal reader (and viewers). I bet most of my readers aren't actually readers, just viewers.

 

That is, they just come in, steal free glances at the photos, and then leave, not bothering to read all my super clever observations on life, the Fort, Disney, and everything.

 

They also miss out on how I ridicule innocent people, like Baby Harness Guy and Lou.

 

Oh, wait a minute -- Lou isn't innocent.

 

This shot isn't terrible, I don't think:

 

 

 

 

 

Ahhh...there it is, the home of the $7 Shirley Temple kiddie cocktail:

 

 

And the $40 Golden Corral-quality buffet:

 

 

Actually, Golden Corral has steak on their buffet. I don't think Trail's End does.

 

Now, how am I supposed to drive my golf cart with my dogs on it through the Settlement with this stupid thing in the way:

 

 

My image hosting service has a feature that allow you to rotate a picture 90 degrees clockwise or counter clockwise.

 

But you know what?

 

Nah:

 

 

Just turn your laptop sideways to see the flowers rightside-up.

 

I mean, come on, people -- you got in here to this Troll show for free. If you complain, I might start posting pictures upside down.

 

OK, by now Mrs. Troll was nice and annoyed with me for wandering around, standing on top of picnic tables, and sneaking behind the Trading Post, so I returned to my rocker on the porch:

 

 

You ever notice this phenomenon before:

 

 

What's the phenomenon, you ask? Well, it's not a Mickey's Backyard Pyramid Scheme night, yet people who are not Fort denizens and not one of the very sad River Country devotees still go wandering back there. Hey, non-Fort denizens -- there's nothing back there! Not unless you want to see a mildewy old water park, babies riding ponies, a vacant food court/pavilion, or giant horses pooping.

 

OK, I don't want to exceed the photo limit, so this installment is done.

 

Up next, Mrs. Troll and I go looping!

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Great update, Troll.

 

Too many wacky angles for my taste, but it's your report. And, I'm not complaining.  Don't want to see upside down photos.

 

That's an interesting observation about all of the fence work that has recently been done around the Fort.  They must have gotten a deal on fence material.  There was a guy putting new fence rails up at the 900 loop comfort station while we were there.

 

TCD

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Those fences look too new.  I like the grey, weathered look.  On the bright side, by the time I return to the Fort, they will again be greyed and weathered. 

[Hotmamac aka Misty 11]

Loving the report so far. (When I read it though I keep hearing Billy Joel singing "I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints".)  I love everything Disney and you would think that I would not enjoy a report full of rants and disparaging comments about my homeland, but I know it comes from a place of love, so I let it slide.  :heartsmiley:  :rofl2:

[The Troll 67]

Great update, Troll.

 

Too many wacky angles for my taste, but it's your report. And, I'm not complaining.  Don't want to see upside down photos.

 

That's an interesting observation about all of the fence work that has recently been done around the Fort.  They must have gotten a deal on fence material.  There was a guy putting new fence rails up at the 900 loop comfort station while we were there.

 

TCD

 

Thank you! Yes, I noticed the new fence going up in the 900 loop. I have photos of that coming up soon!

 

Those fences look too new.  I like the grey, weathered look.  On the bright side, by the time I return to the Fort, they will again be greyed and weathered. 

 

Agree. The Fort is supposed to look weathered and rustic. It's like when they replace a section of the sidewalk. The new section is too white and clean.

 

Loving the report so far. (When I read it though I keep hearing Billy Joel singing "I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints".)  I love everything Disney and you would think that I would not enjoy a report full of rants and disparaging comments about my homeland, but I know it comes from a place of love, so I let it slide.  :heartsmiley:  :rofl2:

 

Thanks for reading along! Make no mistake -- while I act cantankerous at times and poke fun, I love Disney World. It's my favorite place on earth. Seriously.

[The Troll 67]

Let's do another installment!

 

I have a few more Settlement photos to share, so let's knock those out.

 

 

If you're a fan of the Crockett porch but not a fan of Crockett prices, just do as Mrs. Troll does -- bring your own drinks and bar snacks:

 

 

Like I said, Mrs. Troll is always super prepared. It's so nice to always have whatever you want, whenever you want it.

 

Mrs. Troll rules.

 

Here comes the cool wagon:

 

 

If you so desire, you can pay money to ride on this.

 

Or you can just buy the Troll a beer and hop on the backseat of his golf cart.

 

You know what's cool? This:

 

 

What's so cool about it? Well, let me tell you. Think about it. For 40 years, people have been doing exactly what the people above are doing. Over 40 years ago, the Fort designers came up with the idea of placing a campground a great distance from the main theme park, the place where the big bucks were to be made. And then their solution to getting the campground guests to the money central was to ferry them by boat across a natural Florida lake, through a man-made lake, to a dock constructed at the gates of the theme park.

 

And then at the end of the day, that same boat would ferry the people back again.

 

Now I ask you, who on earth would think of that? Seriously. In a modern world where nothing matters but the bottom line, it's amazing that this less-than-efficient way of getting the "marks" to the "midway" is still being done to this very day. Same process. Same docks. Same boats. Same experience.

 

It's dazzling. Thank you, Disney execs, for not changing this. I mean this.

 

And here comes the horse carriage:

 

 

Here's another wave of people who've just been made happy by a theme park with a castle, a fake tree, a fake jungle, a 3D short film, a live comedy show, and a fox that really wants to eat an obnoxious rabbit:

 

 

Ahhhh, memories:

 

 

Who out there remembers when arcades were, like, awesome? They were social hangouts in and of themselves. If you remember that, you're old.

 

Like me.

 

Hey, who out there remembers when you were in elementary school and it was time to take a test and the teacher would hand out the test and the lettering on the text would be sort of purplish and the test paper would still be a bit wet and then you'd sniff it and say, "Mmmmmm..."?

 

It sort of smelled grape.

 

Who remembers that?

 

If you're raising your hand, congratulations -- you'll be collecting your Social Security benefits soon!

 

Anyway, speaking of the Troll golf cart, it's time for some looping.

 

Look!

 

It's Nerd Central:

 

 

I'm allowed to say that because I am a nerd. Need proof that I'm a nerd?

 

I'm writing long-winded posts on a message board dedicated to a campground at a Mickey Mouse theme park. If that ain't nerdy, I don't know what is.

 

Anyway, this nerd dude had a cardboard cutout of R2-D2 and C-3PO on a stake at his site. I guess that's allowed at the Fort now, as Star Wars is now officially a Disney property.

 

Maybe Disney will fix Star Wars. Maybe Disney will make Star Wars epic again. Maybe Disney will undo all the damage those corny prequel movies did.

 

OK, fine. Stop laughing at me.

 

I know, I know...one name: JJ Abrams.

 

The new Star Wars movie is going to suck.

 

Big time.

 

*Sigh.*

 

You know, here's another thought. About this:

 

 

Halloween sure has morphed into a strange, macabre, um, "holiday." I mean, at first it was about spooky ghosts and goblins. But now, it seems, it's preoccupied with death. You know, caskets and crypts. Kind of strange, if you think about it.

 

We spotted some kindred spirits:

 

 

The wild turkeys are running, you know, wild:

 

 

Yum:

 

 

Can't you just taste that guy above right now? Mmmm...smothered in gravy with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce on the side!

 

This golf cart was all over the Fort:

 

 

The characters on the cart were very well done.

 

This guy decided to advertise the fact that he's, you know, from Australia:

 

 

Our country has red and white stripes on it to symbolize blood and honor. These guys have a leaf on theirs.

 

Hey, Canadian Guy! Thank you for visiting our country! We'll take your Canadian money!

 

Here's a shot of the Troll himself, along with the Troll dogs:

 

 

Remember what I was saying about Mrs. Troll and the snacks? Here she is again in action:

 

 

OK, I need to upload more photos to Imgur. Until then, go read the TDD report.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

 

Hey, who out there remembers when you were in elementary school and it was time to take a test and the teacher would hand out the test and the lettering on the text would be sort of purplish and the test paper would still be a bit wet and then you'd sniff it and say, "Mmmmmm..."?

 

It sort of smelled grape.

 

Who remembers that?

 

If you're raising your hand, congratulations -- you'll be collecting your Social Security benefits soon!

 

Mmmmm, Ditto machine.....

 

[PureTcrazy...rita 380]

This may give you a glimpse in to how ancient I truly am...when I started teaching we were still making the purple copies! Yikes, I'm about as old as white dog poop!

 

Love the trip report!

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

I am a nerd who is collecting Social Security and is also loving your TR.  

[Discamper 394]

Great trip report Troll Thank You also for the great pics

[alexwyattmommy 181]

When I was in elementary school my favorite choir was getting those sheets of paper from the office for the teacher.

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

When I was in elementary school my favorite choir was getting those sheets of paper from the office for the teacher.

 

The combination of blue ditto fumes and chalk dust from pounding erasers could probably be classified as a "controlled substance."  Good times, good times.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

I believe that Star Wars display belongs to Curt from FortCamperRentals.

 

 

Mmmmm, Ditto machine.....

 

 

Wow.

 

I've never seen an actual Ditto machine before.  I never knew why those papers were called Dittos to begin with.  Now I know.

 

This may give you a glimpse in to how ancient I truly am...when I started teaching we were still making the purple copies! Yikes, I'm about as old as white dog poop!

 

Love the trip report!

 

Old as white dog poop?

 

Now, there's a phrase I've never heard before.

 

Hilarious!

 

Well done, Rita.

 

TCD

[Beckers 1,136]

You know, here's another thought. About this:

Halloween sure has morphed into a strange, macabre, um, "holiday." I mean, at first it was about spooky ghosts and goblins. But now, it seems, it's preoccupied with death. You know, caskets and crypts. Kind of strange, if you think about it.

Halloween decorations are cool in my book. Mixing things that are meant for real graves with fake grave stuff is creepy as hell.

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

I much prefer the "fun" Halloween decorations, the creepy stuff, well....."creeps" me out

[Laura 17]

I'm with Carol. I will be resting under one of those soon enough,I sure don't want to be reminded of it every Halloween. Give me a cute pumpkin and Halloween Mickey and maybe casper.

[Katman1356...Jason 1,140]

I believe that Star Wars display belongs to Curt from FortCamperRentals.

 

 

Sure looks like the greeter for his Star Wars theme.

 

 

ETA I stole this pic from his Fortcamperrental.com page

 

[The Troll 67]

Mmmmm, Ditto machine.....

 

 

 

Yeah...mmmmm...ditto machine! I can smell the chemicals now. I wonder who got stuck with the job of turning that handle?

 

This may give you a glimpse in to how ancient I truly am...when I started teaching we were still making the purple copies! Yikes, I'm about as old as white dog poop!

 

Love the trip report!

 

Did you have to make the copies yourselves, as teachers? You know, turn the handle crank? Or did someone do it for you?

 

I am a nerd who is collecting Social Security and is also loving your TR.  

 

Is that even possible? When was the word "nerd" invented? I think you may predate it!

 

Great trip report Troll Thank You also for the great pics

 

You're very welcome. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the encouragement. This is fun, isn't it?

 

When I was in elementary school my favorite choir was getting those sheets of paper from the office for the teacher.

 

Yeah, I wanted to do Ditto machine lines.

 

The combination of blue ditto fumes and chalk dust from pounding erasers could probably be classified as a "controlled substance."  Good times, good times.

 

What was the point of clapping the erasers together, anyway? Did the erasers not erase when they were full of chalk?

 

I believe that Star Wars display belongs to Curt from FortCamperRentals.

 

 

 

Wow.

 

I've never seen an actual Ditto machine before.  I never knew why those papers were called Dittos to begin with.  Now I know.

 

 

Old as white dog poop?

 

Now, there's a phrase I've never heard before.

 

Hilarious!

 

Well done, Rita.

 

TCD

 

OK, I have a question to the Star Wars fans here -- if you're a fan like this guy who put up that cutout of R2 and 3PO, if you appreciate those two original characters, how is it you're still a fan of Star Wars after those prequel abominations?

 

Halloween decorations are cool in my book. Mixing things that are meant for real graves with fake grave stuff is creepy as hell.

 

Agree. Real grave and funeral stuff are not Halloween decorations. Those are funeral decorations. And I hate funerals.

 

I much prefer the "fun" Halloween decorations, the creepy stuff, well....."creeps" me out

 

Agree. I don't like funerals.

 

Or, well, weddings or baptisms or graduations.

[The Troll 67]

 

I'm with Carol. I will be resting under one of those soon enough,I sure don't want to be reminded of it every Halloween. Give me a cute pumpkin and Halloween Mickey and maybe casper.

 

I want a well carved, real Jack-o-Lantern. With a real candle in it.

 

Sure looks like the greeter for his Star Wars theme.

 

 

ETA I stole this pic from his Fortcamperrental.com page

 

 

Star Wars theme? What does that mean?

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

 

Star Wars theme? What does that mean?

 

 

When you rent a camper from them they theme it in your choice of styles.  This includes the decorations outside, bedspreads, interior decorations, etc.  It's quite cool.  The gravestone looks like one of the things from their Haunted Mansion theme.

 

We're actually renting from them in January.  Our theme?  Mickey and Friends!

[Katman1356...Jason 1,140]

 

 

 

I want a well carved, real Jack-o-Lantern. With a real candle in it.

 

 

Star Wars theme? What does that mean?

 

 

Curt's aka Fortcamperrental.com Pop Ups come themed in one of many choices. You get the greeter out front such as Rs and C-3PO here. The sheets and other things in the camper are Star Wars in this case as well. For the kids and some adults it let them enjoy the camper decorated in a theme rather than just a plain basic camper. 

 

We rented from Curt over the summer and had the Haunted Mansion for a theme. Tombstone and skeletons out front, pictures that changed from live to dead, Crows and spooky decorations and the like all inside. It was fun. 

[Beckers 1,136]

Troll, incase you missed it on the Avatarland thread, I want you and Fortwildernessguy to go to Avatarland together when it opens and do a joint trip report.

[mommy rainbo.....Bo 41]

And I agreed with her.