The Troll

Hold the phone. I am *not* the 40-something (50-something?) middle aged dude who gets a FAST PASS to see Elsa! I am not the middle aged dude who cross body checks 8 year old little girls out of the way to see Elsa. I am also not the middle aged dude who thinks it's a good idea to kill time in between Fast Passes by standing in the Elsa Meet and Greet standby line. I am also not the middle aged dude who bought the deluxe, limited-edition Elsa Magic Band. Also, there is not and never will be a photo of me like this one: Oh, I can hear it now: "Shut up, Troll! That was for the twins! The t

I approve. Elsa is smokin'. Ellen? Not so much. Actually I do have to say that I'm surprised the climate change theme hasn't made bigger inroads into that attraction yet.

The ride itself is not bad. That is, the animatronic dinos are pretty cool, especially considering they were built in the early 80s. The ride is a relic from the early Epcot vision, when Epcot was EPCOT Center, and the rides were exhibits rather than, well, rides. I can do without Ellen in it, though. I just don't think she's funny. But I know I'm in the minority on that. But the presentation as a whole is badly dated and needs a refurb.

Doesn't everyone?

*Ahem* "Overrated" is not a word I would use to describe this: If you want to be the cute little tomboy girl next door, fine, be Anna. But if you want to rake in $1.2 billion dollars, win Grammy awards, and have an album that goes triple platinum, you be Elsa.

In my mind, you can't blame Disney for giving the people what they want. People want Starbucks? Give 'em Starbucks. I hate that they trashed a classic, original attraction to do it, but I understand the motive. For me, the same holds with Frozen. I'm not a big Frozen fan, but I'm a huge Frozen supporter, if that makes sense. I definitely think Disney should capitalize on it. Great report, by the way. Very, very intelligent writing.

Hey you ever notice that Anna is one major coattail rider? She's like Brian Doyle Murray. Or Clint Howard. Or Charlie Murphy. Or Billy Carter. No one wants to see you, Anna. No one wants your autograph. No one is dressing up as you for Halloween. So bad, so sad. Go join the other B characters like Geppetto, Pumbaa, Le Fou, and Doc the Dwarf and walk in the parade while your famous sister rides on her own float.

It is a really pretty island. Seems like such a waste to just let it sit there, unused. It could make an interesting extension to the RC DVC, if it ever gets built.

Definitely would be cool to have an attraction on the island, but moving guests across the lake and the lack of parking present major challenges. I can see an exclusive, top dollar DVC going up there.

That is my thought exactly. Not that I blame them for this strategy, as it makes sense from a profit perspective, but the hoohah over "enhancing my experience" is just that. The point you made a while back about the 30 minute standby wait for Spaceship Earth is, I think, critical. Is the new system unintentionally forcing people back into standby lines for less popular attractions, thereby keeping them out of shops and eateries?

This clinches it in my mind: "And quite often the amount of capacity we can let into the park is highly driven by pinch points and particular areas of the park that we don't want to get too overcrowded. So when guests are better distributed around the park, we can let more in." - Disney CFO Jay Rasulo That alone, in my mind, justifies a $1 billion investment. Everything else MB "delivers" is just window dressing.

Ahhhh...sorry for the double post...but an epiphany. It's a ploy to keep the parks near capacity throughout the day. I understand it now.

And supposing they get all the bugs fixed and do manage track my every move, I am not convinced there is any practical way for them to monetize that information any more than systems they had in place before the Band. Think about it: With the Magic Band, they know exactly when I enter and leave my room. They already knew that with the old system. With the Magic Band, they know exactly what I bought, when, and where. They already knew that with the old system. With the Magic Band, park managers can better identify bottlenecks. Well, OK, I'll give you that one. But how is that monetized

Clearly the Magic Bands are here to stay...we just have to come to accept it. The "three ride rule" has got to go, though. And it's getting more and more interesting what they're classifying as an "attraction" nowadays. Leslie told me last week as she was making Fast Pass reservations for our trip in May, "I can get us Fast Passes to the fireworks and the parade." Um, what? Fast Pass to fireworks? What's next? Fast Passes to the piano guy at Casey's? Fast Passes to watch the girl make candy apples at the confectionery?

Bam! Exactly! That's exactly what I'm driving at. From my own cursory analysis of the Magic Band system, I can't see how it on the outset justifies a $1 billion investment. In my mind, I've been telling myself, "They HAVE to have a bigger plan...a more solid plan..." otherwise it's much to do about nothing and a waste of a billion dollars. And you know what? I think you're right. They're not really sure what the hell they have and are just now trying to figure out how the thing is going to make money. I get that it will track merchandise sales. I get that. But you know what? Think about it

Agree. Let's see if we can get into their heads. Let's look at this from a senior park manager's perspective. Here are the goals I could see them having for the system. Keep in mind, these goal must promise a $1 billion ROI, at a minimum: Fix the Fast Pass gobble-up. First-time guests unable to ride signature rides equals many never-to-return guests Keep people in the parks but out of the attractions. Let's face it -- you're not spending money while sitting in the Hall of Presidents. So let the guests ride some rides, but not too many. Spread ride times out to keep people in the park (and a

Dropping my Troll gimmick for a bit, I wanted to comment on the article. I enjoyed the article very much and I think it's very well written and interesting. How they developed the system and made it work are fascinating. I am very "pro corporation," if you will, and am very much for Disney making record profits, so long as they don't cheapen the product or leave me feeling I didn't get my money's worth. Yes, you pay more at Disney and I joke about it A LOT, but bottom line is this: It's worth it. I love the damned place and just about everything about it and am willing to fork over the extra

Great post, Andrew. To this one I would also add the area around the bridge that connects the 900 loop to the group camping area. There's a log bench there now along that dog path. Sit on that bench and marvel along the same lines -- you're sitting in the original heart of Disney World, a place visited by what? A hundred million people per year? And yet you'd never know it. And so few people, such a tiny, tiny fraction of those visitors know about that bridge and that bench.

Thank you, Lord! That's the best news of 2015 so far. Seriously, I rant a lot for effect, but seriously, that racetrack really had me considering not going to the Fort anymore. It looks official: http://land.allears.net/blogs/dnews/2015/02/richard_petty_driving_experien_1.html

The Disney pin collecting craze is over, sir. You might want to put that next to your vast collection of Beanie Babies and Pokemon cards. I kid...I kid. Please, don't toilet paper my camper.

Did the purple crayon melt into your camera?

It's awfully doggone close:

Isn't this scene straight out of the Ellen Energy ride at Epcot: Isn't that where you saw it before?

Really enjoying this report, Andrew. Thanks.